Friday reflection - week 12

The new year has kicked off to such an amazing start for me. Things have been happening; which although to many may seem really, really small and insignificant are completely lifting my spirits right now. You know when you've been praying so hard for something and it's like NOTHING seems to be happening? Well that seemed to be the case with me for some time, and if anything my situation was getting worse and not better and out of frustration I would get sad and disheartened, but it was at these moments I would cry out to my Heavenly Father, asking for His help to not let my emotions overwhelm me and to give me the strength to hold tight to His promises; of which there are many.

The key is to not let your situation move you, because God is bigger than any problem or issue you may be facing. This isn't always an easy concept to get your head around, especially if you don't believe, but seriously, when it seems like all hell is breaking loose around you and things look beyond repair, that is when you must look beyond your circumstances and CLING onto Jesus. And by clinging on I mean you get your PRAISE ON as you prepare for the deliverance that's on its way. You pray without ceasing, you fast, you read your Bible, you give your tithes and your offering, you be a blessing to others, you go to church, you turn away from the behaviour you know is not pleasing to Him, and you sit back and watch in awe as he rains down blessing, upon blessing over your life. Yes Lord!!

For weeks I have had to be constantly reminding myself that faith comes by HEARING not SEEING....

'So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.'
Romans 10:17

My song for weeks has been...
'I'm not moved by what I see, Hallelujah, I'm not moved by what I see, Hallelujah. I'm only moved by the word of God Hallelujah, I'm only moved by the word of God, Hallelujah and everybody sing Amen, Amen, Aaa-men, Amen, Amen...

My God is a deliverer - Woohoo GLORY TO GOD!!

Hello 2013 - the year of the supernatural breakthrough

Happy New Year Everybody!!

I am fully charged and pregnant with expectation (not babies lol) for 2013. I can't fully explain it, but I feel MAJOR breakthroughs are going to be realised for me and many others this year and it's all thanks to my Lord and personal saviour Jesus Christ.

For many, many years I've pondered on my purpose in life. What is it all about? What is the point? Of course I am a Mother and my children are my life and yes they have given it purpose, but there still felt like something was missing. That was until I became born again on July 20 2012. Ever since that day the Lord has been revealing to me bit by bit and day by day my unique God given purpose on this Earth.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been and isn't always easy to determine, what is of me, what is of God and what is of the enemy, but that is where our work as believers begins. We must seek Him daily for His truth to be revealed within us. And by seeking Him I mean praying for discernment and revelation, reading the Bible and meditating on His word, going to church, listening to sermons, fellowshiping with fellow Christians. When you begin to do all these things obediently and consistently you will be AMAZED at what God will reveal to you. Seriously I am BUBBLING over with excitement at the transformation the Lord has made in the 5 short months since I gave my life to him.

First and foremost He made me turn away from one of the biggest sins in my life which was fornication. Until I am a married woman sex will no longer be a part of my life and you know what? My relationship with the father of my three children is slowly but surely beginning to improve, despite going very much off the rails. There is still a long way to go, but I put all my faith, trust and hope in the Lord. Regardless of the outcome I am confident that My God will work the situation out in His perfect timing and to perfection. It is so true that where God guides, He most certainly provides and He has supernaturally made a way for me to be able to glorify Him in the most imperfect of situations. He really does reward obedience and I am amazed. Praise Him forever.

He has been showing me other areas of my life that did not glorify Him too. Areas of unforgiveness and bitterness, seeds of anger, resentment, self pity and frustration that would take hold of me like a raging fire. All these issues had to be dealt with in order for God to use me for His purpose. Believe me I am still very much a work in progress, but where God has lifted the mirror to highlight my faults, through His divine grace and mercy He has also been providing me with ALL the solutions I need to be restored and reconciled with Him. What an AWESOME, AWESOME God!

I'm telling you, before I got saved there were endless days. I would wonder to myself, why am I so angry today? Why do I feel, so down, so upset, so, empty, so useless?? I had NO answers. That was until I found Jesus and He provided ALL the answers. The emptiness I felt in my heart could only be filled by my heavenly Father, and boy has He filled it. In ABUNDANCE!

I'm not who I used to be, I am a new creation in Christ. I am brimming with thoughts and ideas and it's all thanks to Him. 2013 I welcome you with open arms.

'Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.'
2 Corinthians 5:17

We've got a date!!!

So I had 'the talk' with the fiancé and can you believe it? He is totally on board with getting married next year and already has lots of ideas for the wedding (just another, in a long list of reasons why I love him so). It's amazing. It seems he was just waiting on me to give the nod. 


See what I mean about being too exhausted and sidetracked to communicate properly? 

In short he is raring to go too....*gasps excitedly for breath*. 

I must confess he's always said he could get a venue and sort out catering. Unfortunately I would usually switch off at this point, naughty me. What he would suggest never quite sounded like what I had in mind, or maybe I just wasn't ready to receive it, what with being perpetually pregnant, working, pre-occupied....

Well I am more than ready to receive now and everything this man of mine plans or puts his mind to always turns out brilliantly.  I'm getting excited.... Finally there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I am getting married to the man of my dreams (sorry for the outpouring of shmultz) in Spring 2013 and I couldn't be happier. Now time to start planning. First things first let's get the date saved and the church and reception venue booked...... *beams*

I've been having a snoop online and found some gorgeous ideas, so here's a sneaky peak at Our  My (haven't shown the OH yet) wedding look book. Just throwing some ideas out there, no matter how big or small, and seeing if anything sticks...got to start somewhere.

This church is stunning.

Liking the different shades of grey.

Loving the close cut and fit of this suit.

Great cut and colour. Would compliment my OH's complexion nicely.

Our girls would look gorgeous in these dresses.

I could just see our li'l man in this pageboy outfit. 
Completely handsome.

Loving these stunning white roses - stleonardsflowers.co.uk

I have a thing for these rings with your fingerprints inside.
So unique and personal.

Loving these fun yet romantic wedding invites.

Simply says it all.

Otherwise engaged

I love these rings, especially the fingerprints
on the inside. I know what we'll be getting.

The better half and I have been engaged for four years. Come to think of it, it's four years to the day today. O.M.Goodness!

I really thought we would be married by now, I definitely did not think we would have THREE children and not be married.

The better half proposed in glorious style a few weeks after our eldest daughter was born and  I vowed there would be no more children until we had made our union official. What is that saying about best laid plans?

Just before I found out I was pregnant with our third child I had it planned (hypothetically) that we would go to Barbados and have a simple wedding in paradise. How amazing would that have been? An amazing holiday with the girls and a wedding all wrapped into one.

Now we are in a situation where all of our money goes on the children and providing the best life possible for them. There is absolutely no money in the pot for a wedding.

Many have suggested to do something small, get family to make and bring food. The thing is we both come from very big families and I don't see how either of these suggestions could work. Admittedly I was never one of those girls who dreamt of the fairy tale wedding to her prince charming. I never had visions of the dress and the cake from the age of seven, so I'm not precious and I don't have high expectations but I would like the experience to be romantic and memorable for all the right reasons. 

Now my new target is for us to be married by 2013 the absolute latest. I'm getting concerned that the longer we leave it, the more we'll feel like just not bothering. I sense that the better half has lost complete interest in the idea, it's never a topic of conversation, it just exists silently until our daughter sees a bridal magazine or hears the mention of a wedding and asks when mummy and daddy will be getting married.

The honest answer is I don't know, our lives are so crammed with other stuff that we'll just carry on as things are. That is until 2013.......