I want to be married (I think)

More and more of late I've had a yearning to be married, like right now. I don't know if it's the romantic deep within fighting to get out or the sheer embarrassment and shame (we are christians) of having three children out of wedlock or maybe it's the fact that I'm rapidly approaching 33, but either way I feel the need to be a Mrs. The thing is I'm not sure how we get there anymore.

I read this great post on the London Bride blog recently. It was about long engagements and it got me thinking about the situation the other half and I have found ourselves in.

My fiancé proposed in glorious style along the river near Tower Bridge in early 2008. It is now 2012 and nothing is planned, booked, mentioned or talked about. It can't help that he runs his own business and I'm looking after our three children, so between the two of us we are usually too exhausted or too sidetracked to talk about us and this marriage/wedding malarkey.

I must admit I do get cold feet every now and then, when I'm having to constantly remind him to give me money for the bills or repeatedly having to pick his crap things off the bathroom, bedroom, living room floor. Then there's our different approaches to money. I'm pretty good because I'm organised. Him not so much. I often wonder if the issue of credit ratings and such like will impact me negatively when we get married, but that's not the way I should be going into it surely?

Compared to hideous exes, my fiancé's short comings are insignificant. And after all nobody is perfect and it's all about compromise. I know there are a lot of things about me he probably grins and bears (heck he probably doesn't even want to get married anymore but hasn't got around to telling me yet - *shudders*) so it all evens out I suppose.


The fact of the matter is, he is most definitely THE ONE and I want to be his wife but money is tight, (we've moved back to our one bedroom flat to save money for goodness sake so how can we possibly afford a wedding??). We both come from big families so nothing is ever going to be small and discreet. Maybe I'm just creating barriers and we should just go ahead and do what we can afford (zilch) and please ourselves rather than everybody else.



I think this could well be my dress of choice.
*rubs hands together excitedly*
Looks pricey though.



I swore to myself 2013 would be the year we became husband and wife. This extended , drawn out engagement stuff has gone on long enough. This wedding has to happen doesn't it? Even my little sis who isn't even in a relationship right now has more of an idea of what her wedding will look like than I do.



I've got to get this thing moving....

....right that's it, we will have 'the talk' tonight and a date will be set.



Keep me in your thoughts.

They sleep, we grind

Image from last.fm

I joined twitter at 1am this morning. Please look me up and follow @TheAccidentalMo.

Social media is such a funny thing. A few years ago I didn't want anything to do with it. I'm quite a private person, so the likes of facebook and twitter made my blood turn cold. Now with the creation of this blog, which I am growing to love very much (so much so I'm up until ridiculous o'clock most nights, thinking, writing and Internet surfing), I am seeing another side to the world of social media.

I am relishing the way it brings people from across the globe into one space. In the six weeks I have been blogging I have met some amazing and inspirational people. People who are living the kind of lives I could only dream of and yet we communicate and become acquaintances, sometimes even friends. Where else could this be possible?

I am discovering people that truly motivate and inspire me. Today on twitter I came across a tweet from an Erykah Badu follower Toshjo whose tattoo had been inspired by Erykah's tweet's. It beautifully sums up my life at this point in time;

"If you have a twitter and you follow Erykah Badu you’ve probably seen this before. She used to tweet this mantra; “they sleep, we grind”  late, late, late at night.. two, three, four, five in the morning, for the creative minds that stay awake throughout the night grinding, and it always really inspired me.  Some people sacrifice money, time, or even sleep to achieve their goals and live out their dreams and I always saw this as a reminder to myself to keep working hard..  they sleep. we grind."

I love that social media has the power to inspire, encourage and uplift.... I want to be a part of it and do the same. I'm going to keep working hard to achieve my dreams and aspirations.

We only have one shot at this life so we must grab it with both hands and give it all we've got. 

Otherwise engaged

I love these rings, especially the fingerprints
on the inside. I know what we'll be getting.

The better half and I have been engaged for four years. Come to think of it, it's four years to the day today. O.M.Goodness!

I really thought we would be married by now, I definitely did not think we would have THREE children and not be married.

The better half proposed in glorious style a few weeks after our eldest daughter was born and  I vowed there would be no more children until we had made our union official. What is that saying about best laid plans?

Just before I found out I was pregnant with our third child I had it planned (hypothetically) that we would go to Barbados and have a simple wedding in paradise. How amazing would that have been? An amazing holiday with the girls and a wedding all wrapped into one.

Now we are in a situation where all of our money goes on the children and providing the best life possible for them. There is absolutely no money in the pot for a wedding.

Many have suggested to do something small, get family to make and bring food. The thing is we both come from very big families and I don't see how either of these suggestions could work. Admittedly I was never one of those girls who dreamt of the fairy tale wedding to her prince charming. I never had visions of the dress and the cake from the age of seven, so I'm not precious and I don't have high expectations but I would like the experience to be romantic and memorable for all the right reasons. 

Now my new target is for us to be married by 2013 the absolute latest. I'm getting concerned that the longer we leave it, the more we'll feel like just not bothering. I sense that the better half has lost complete interest in the idea, it's never a topic of conversation, it just exists silently until our daughter sees a bridal magazine or hears the mention of a wedding and asks when mummy and daddy will be getting married.

The honest answer is I don't know, our lives are so crammed with other stuff that we'll just carry on as things are. That is until 2013.......