Testimony Time

Well, well, well what can I say...today I have the opportunity of sharing a testimony from a woman whose walk with Christ truly inspires me. I discovered Mimi Atkins several weeks ago when I started following her on twitter (@MiMiQAtkins),
and let me tell you her tweets are like being at Church, but not any old Church, NO, NO, NO, we're talking about Holy Ghost, spirit filled, fire and brimstone, telling the whole Biblical truth, not adding to it, not taking away from it, not caring who likes it, but speaking it straight from the heart of Jesus with the conviction that will transform the hardest of hearts...Church....Phew... Hallelujah. Believe me Mimi's testimony is POWERFUL (I know I say that a lot where testimonies are concerned but it's the truth. God is AMAZING!!) When I first read her story on her blog it completely wrecked me, so I knew God was at work when she agreed to share her testimony on my little ole blog. Believe me when I say He takes the very least and makes MUCH....woohoo. Anyway enough from me. Here's Mimi's testimony of how Christ transformed her life.........

"At the grand age of 30, I sit back and look at my life and I am simply intriqued that I am even here, nestled in the Father’s arms, a safe haven that I can now call home. Arms that I ran from and avoided when all along, I knew with God is where I belonged, but I fought and I fought hard for over 13 years until finally, I conceded, but go back with me to the age of four if you will to where my life began (at least in my eyes and where I can recall):

“Get over here, you little b*%&! Sit down, eat!” I got teary-eyed as she slapped me across my face. A slap so hard that her palm print was artwork on my cheek. Yes, those were the words  and actions I was greeted with at the age of four. I was a victim of physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse from the very person who should’ve loved me most – MY MOM. My mom hated me and she made it known with each burn (from irons or anything HOT), extension cord,  hangar, brush, belt buckle, broom, you name it, I got it. I was in and out of foster care but they always returned me to her home in the hopes that she was “rehabilitated.” But if you know any recidivistic criminal – old habits die hard. They just perfect hiding them. For me, it was long sleeved clothes and make-up. Just like you can’t cover sin, you can’t cover bruises; they soon expose.

I recall vividly getting beaten naked with an extension cord and stretching my arms out and asking this person called God to just let me die in the midst of her torture when I was 12 years old. Looking back now, that’s symbolic that Christ began his teachings around that age and my gesture resembled a cross as I endured pain at the hand of the “enemy.”

I was beaten until I bled everyday of my life until I was 18 years old. So how could I love myself when I was never shown love? That’s easy, I didn’t. I had no blue print on how to be a woman of morals, pride, esteem, nor value. I had NO self-worth.

At the age of 17, a friend invited me to her church and  I learned about the man I only knew in name – Jesus. This savior who never saved me or had He?!? After two months of visiting church, I gave my life to Christ and after eight months, God whispered in my ear during service, “Surrender, MiMi. Let go of this world. You are called to evangelize.” I laughed at God as Sarah did (Genesis 18:12) and went about my life. I was on the verge of being 18; I had much partying, clubbing, and dating to do. Holiness was far from my agenda. I felt God never cared as a child so why should I listen to him as an almost adult.

At 18, I left the house of HELL! Not before I cursed my mom and told her that I hated her for abusing me. I made her look at every scar she had marred my body with and told her that I hoped she burned in HELL for being so evil and cruel to a child she bore. I walked away and never looked back. I was so distraught that I considered suicide because I felt so alone. I got in my car and just started driving  despite crying, until I got to a building (which turned out to be the church I now attend) and saw three signs: HOPE, LOVE, and JOY! I closed my eyes and started walking and prayed that I would land on the steps of “LOVE” and miraculously God would send someone to love me. I ended up on the steps of HOPE. I took that as a sign from God to persevere. I chose life instead of death and I picked up my slumbered  body and began living. I found an apartment and went to college where I majored in education.

From 18-26, I was a train wreck. I was sexually active and I used my body to get what I wanted from men. I did not care who I used or hurt, I just wanted my way. At the age of 20, I reunited with my high school sweetheart, Daniel and he drew me closer to Christ and we began to go to church together but still led a sinful lifestyle which led me to become an unwed mother. I was madly in love with Daniel, but he left me when I was pregnant because he did not want to be a father. I was alone and desolate in a big world with a big belly to bare my shame. Again, I wanted to die but God told me to live because in my womb, I carried a divine gift (think Genesis here again with the “birth of many nations”).

I admit Daniel jaded me a lot. He was the first person besides my dad to show me love and for him to leave me when I needed him most, pierced my very soul. But that is an understatement because I felt like someone gutted me, actually. To make a long story short, Daniel only saw our daughter once (when she was 5 months) and this is when the testimony turns into sorrow:

On November 1, 2006, I got the WORST phone call ever. Daniel had DIED! He was a pilot and his plane had engine failure and it crashed and burned. I WAS DEVASTATED. All the anger, bitterness, and hatred left my body as I fell to the floor and cried out to God, “WHY? WHY ME? I graduate from college in a month and I need to focus. I JUST GIVE UP, GOD! WHAT’S NEXT? I GET ABUSED FOR 18 YEARS OF MY LIFE, I FIND LOVE AND HE LEAVES ME, NOW I AM ALMOST THERE IN MY LIFE AND HE DIES! WHEN WILL SOMEONE STAY AND NOT LEAVE ME? WHO WILL LOVE ME FOREVER, GOD? WHOOO??” I asked in tears. God responded, “I WILL LOVE YOU. JUST TAKE MY HAND AND I WILL GUIDE YOU!” I rolled my eyes in disgust and sobbed into the pillow the entire night.

At the age of two, my daughter met her family for the first time at her father’s funeral. I was so humiliated and embarrassed because what I failed to tell you was this: DANIEL WAS ITALIAN and I AM BLACK. His family did not want us together because of OUR SKIN COLOR. So here I am, an abused child, living as a woman and ousted by the man I love because he could not defend me and his child. What more could a person go through?

Years passed, I healed and I even got married in 2010. That marriage was a disaster waiting to happen and we divorced in 2011. I realized then that I COULD NOT and was not CAPABLE of loving anyone until I learned to love myself. Daniel had taken my heart to the grave or so I thought….

On January 2, 2012 (my 30th birthday), I was leaving BAR ONE in Atlanta. I was on the Interstate headed east to my hotel when all of a sudden I realized my exit was coming and I could barely see it approaching even though I had on my contacts. My car skidded off the road and I was headed for several trees. I knew if I did not turn my car, I was going to die. I was scared and trembling but I veered to the left and my car halted on the side of the road with a major flat tire. My life was sparred and right then I conceded to Christ. I was tired of fighting and resisting such a loving God. I opened my arms and allowed God to take His rightful place in my life and heart.

Weeks later, Daniel appeared to me in a vision and told me to NEVER regret my decision and to, “Go with God!” I smiled because when we were at our best, he would always tell me that. He also gave me permission to let him go and to love again. He said I had held on to him for too long and since he could not return to me in the flesh, I needed to let go and love another again. As tears streamed down my face, I reached out to him only to wake up and see darkness.

For the first time, I felt free on all ends. Free to love and to accept God. That was six months ago and today I stand proud as a child of God who has endured the storms of life but I know God was always with me. I was created to be an evangelist, missionary, and work with youth. And no matter what I did, I could not run from what God wanted me to do. My life’s triumphs and struggles led me to where I am today: I am a teacher, writer, and speaker. And most importantly, I am His. Years ago, I told God, “NO!” Today, I proudly say, “YES, GOD! I am YOUR CHILD! I WILL OBEY YOU! I WALK INTO MY CALLING: I WILL BE AN EVANGELIST!”

I forgave my mom shortly after I cursed her very soul. I apologized to her for being rude and I repented before God. Thankfully, on September 25, 2006, Daniel called me and talked to our daughter – a mere month and a week before he died. I forgave him, as well. Since then, I have been hurt by many others and I forgave them. I don’t know how to hate or hold grudges. It’s not in me and I am grateful God made me that way.

Presently, I am letting God have His way in me. I am active in church. I am not evangelizing yet, but I am in spiritual training. When the time is right, I will preach my first sermon — NOT in my time, but in God’s time and I sit well with that because His timing is not ours. Pray for me and I will do the same for you!"

I told you her testimony was powerful didn't I? God is using Mimi mightily and I would encourage you to follow her blog and twitter account for more words of godly encouragement and wisdom. If you have a testimony of how God has profoundly touched your life and you would like to share it on the blog then please email me at theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.

God bless you.

Testimony Time

It's testimony time again. God is working so mightily in my life and the lives of others and I give him all the praise and the glory for enabling us to share these awesome testimonies with you all. Hallelujah!! I met Kharissa via Instagram (her IG tag is @beautifully_wonderfully), she is a strong woman of God who is allowing Him to do so much in her life. It is AWESOME. I'll hand over to Kharissa to tell you her story.

Born Again At 23

Have you ever met the guy of your “dreams” and he turned out to be a fraud? Yup. I did. Have you ever really cared for someone and they cheated on you? Me too. Have you hoped that this person was the one but your relationship was so over crowded with lies that you broke up? That's me too. Ever met someone who put you last in the relationship? Yea. I have had that too. Ever dealt with someone leaving you because you wouldn't have sex with them? Yes I’ve been through it. Ever been pressured to have sex in a relationship but in the back of your mind it wasn’t right? I’ve been there.

My name is Kharissa. I'm from Queens, NY. I’m 23 (going on 24 years old) and I’ve spent so much of my time in the wrong relationships that I never really got to enjoy a good one. I wanted so badly for someone to love me, to want me, to desire me. Don't get me wrong I have an amazing family who loves me dearly but the love I wanted was from someone who could complete me. I felt incomplete. I often felt like a lost soul looking for another soul to make me feel whole again. I always had this idea of the PERFECT relationship. The house, the dog, kids, money and a husband that does it all!!! He doesn't lie, doesn’t cheat, works hard, is romantic, is loyal, is gorgeous etc. I wanted the most fairy tale, picture perfect guy imaginable. The prince that comes to sweep the princess off her feet and they live happily ever after with NO PROBLEMS. Imagine that, a relationship with no problems. Honey, from ages 16-23 I was stuck in a fantasy.

And then one day I had a relationship that just broke me. I cared about the dude so much and he left me because I wasn't ready to have sex with him. So he cheated on me. I was emotionally invested and for 5 years afterwards he would come and go. I would allow him back (I declared that I loved him) and he would disappoint me. Then he would leave again. He would want to come back and I would open up to him only for him to keep things from me then I would leave. It was a vicious, unstable 5 year circle. It rendered me depressed and undesirable. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I began wishing I was more desirable like other girls my age and then I became angry. I became angry with God. Why didn’t He make me with a perfect figure? Why am I so skinny? Why do all my relationships fail? Now God has always been a part of my life since I was younger and this was the first time I began to lose my faith in Him. The one time I felt He was a liar because the one thing I wanted so badly, He refused to give me. I was livid and sad all the time. I felt alone, lonely and unwanted. I never cried so much in my life. I let something consume me and take control of me so much that I was losing myself. I stopped praying. I stopped hoping. I stopped caring. My voice was lost to Him and I remember feeling like “He doesn't care about my happiness so why should I acknowledge Him only for Him to be silent?” No thanks.

When I thought it wasn’t going to get better something happened to me, to my soul. The Lord came to me in a dream and gave me the choice to choose His way or the way that I was living. I never got to choose in the dream but the idea was to choose in my waking life. I never prayed so hard and since that day I wanted nothing more then to change my ways because I knew in my heart that He was who I needed in my life. I didn’t realize until just today that even though my attitude was changing there was a part of my soul that still loved God. My soul must have reached out to Him because deep down buried underneath all my negative feelings, heartache and pain I still loved Him.

Since April 8, 2012, I have been an avid church goer, a server at my church and a strong believer in God and Christ Jesus. I have NEVER felt so alive and strong. I gained so much knowledge about myself that internally I have made almost a complete 180 degree turn. I'm still a work in progress because the devil tries to bring me back to the old me but I’ve been holding on for dear life to Jesus. He has saved me each and every time. He’s brought people in my life to help me grow and stay focused and He made lessons out of those who have left me in my walk with God. He’s made lessons out of those relationships that have failed and I honestly am happy that I went through it because if it wasn't for what I been through I wouldn't be here now. I realized through my teachings at church how much I had fallen away from someone who loved more than I could ever imagine. It’s so crazy because all those times I thought I was alone I really wasn't because He was watching. He was there the whole time with a plan to change my life, with a plan to make me whole. He was there with a plan to teach me who I am called to be, not who these guys or people in my life think I am. Jesus wanted to show me His way. I was one of His lost sheep but when I was able to understand I can’t live life my own way and that I need Him. I would then come back to Him. He knew that and waited for me.

Through all of this I have learned many lessons and made a lot of decisions molding me into the person I am to today. I made a decision in my life to abstain from sex until marriage. Sex is an emotion, a powerful emotion that clouds the mind and heightens the senses. I realized that in today's generation there are too many diseases roaming around. Too many unwanted pregnancies and too many relationships bound for doom. I believe that sex was made for marriage and I have faith that God has someone for me. I made the decision to teach myself to resist temptation, to have respect for myself and my body as a young woman and declare a relationship in God through prayer and faith. God will prevail where no man can. When everyone and everything fails, He remains constant.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe there is someone reading this right now who has felt the same way I felt. Jesus can heal you. Jesus can strengthen you and God will forgive you. He loves you unconditionally; more than the human mind can fathom. It’s beautiful. He wants a relationship with you. He wants ALL of you. All of YOU! The good, the bad, the ugly and the hideous. I'm more than what my problems are and so are you. I'm called on a journey to be somebody in His kingdom. I'm important. I'm loved by a force greater than anything on this Earth. I'm loved by the creator of this Earth. The creator of you and I. He made us the way we are to fulfill a purpose in this life; to bring people to Him. I pray that you find God and you love Him through everything. I pray you find your purpose. God came and changed my life when no man could. He changed my attitude, my thinking and my focus. I'm thankful to be saved and I pray you will be too. Amen.

Glory to God. If you have a testimony of how God has transformed your life and you'd like to share it on the blog then email me: theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.

A New Church

I've found a new church and I love it. Just before Christmas I'd been praying for God to lead me somewhere new because I didn't feel I was growing where I was so I really wanted God to confirm if what I was feeling was of Him or me. He confirmed that the tugging at my heart was definitely Him and He set about making things work out and man have they WORKED OUT!!

A few weeks before Christmas my mum was given a flyer from some young people who were rapping, singing and envagelising outside KFC next to Barking station in East London. I was seriously impressed by this flurry of activity despite not seeing them myself and I felt heavily called to go to the Church and I'm so glad I did go because it is truly amazing. Christ most certainly answered my prayers. I have been going for just over a month now and I feel like this is where God wants me to be. The Pastor and his wife are great people and the sermons are powerful and convicting. The congregation is relatively small but already it is growing week by week with people from all walks of life.

In addition to the Sunday morning service, we have Sunday evening Bible studies, and a Wednesday evening service. I love the fact that services go on in the week. Seriously if I could I'd be at there EVERYDAY. I yearn for God's word so much. This Church has me so excited because they are seeking to find solutions to the problems within the local community by using the principles of God's word. Pure and simple. It is SO POWERFUL. A large percentage of the congregation are under 21 and believe me when I tell you that these guys are on fire for Jesus. They are spirit filled and on a mission to live as God has called them to. They are completely set apart and they set such an awesome example for the even younger children who are in attendance. It is amazing to witness, especially when these days the youth are accused of bringing so much disrespect and disruption to society. Christian youth are the role models our communities so desperately need. Amen!

I am bubbling with excitement when I think of how God has led me to be precisely where I was praying to be. There is so much potential for me to grow spiritually and minister to others. We come together in fellowship frequently and there are plans for concerts, a football team and a variety of other community activities that will bring Jesus to the people, just as God intended...Woohoo! Hallelujah! Such exciting times ahead!

I serve such a mighty, awesome God. His glory amazes me every single day. Thank you Jesus.

Melting hearts

Source

Last week I blogged about reaching out to others and giving more here and here. God has really been working on me in this area and the Holy Spirit has filled me with a heart that just wants to GIVE. I am a stay at home mum of three, but I can honestly say that I give more now than I ever did when I was career girl without kids and a disposable income. It's crazy to think that back then I used to want more, but nowadays I just want to give more. And you know what? Whilst I give, the good Lord provides for my every need. Seriously my kids do not go without. Don't get me wrong, we are by no means well off, we live in a one bed flat and the kids and I split our time between the flat and my parents home, but somehow it all works out and I am at peace, despite the situation being very far from ideal. I'm telling you it is only God that can provide you with that kind of peace when everything around you appears to be so completely hopeless.

So as I was saying, in my previous post I talked about how God led me to a home for disabled and mentally ill children that is virtually on my doorstep but I didn't know existed. I got talking to the director a few days later over the phone and asked him if there was any need that my church or I could assist with, like donating clothes, supplies, anything to support the residence and staff. He couldn't think of anything off the top of his head, but said we could come in and sing Christmas carols. FABULOUS. That was until my whole family and I got super sick with the winter vomiting bug..... *sigh*

Undeterred, I bought a few boxes of mince pies and a big tin of chocolates stickered them up with some messages about Jesus and love, wrote out a card and delivered them this morning. I got the idea for the stickers from this wonderful blog here. (Thank you for the heads up Jules. Jules is the creator of The Year blog. Another fabulous read which I thoroughly recommend.) The receptionist was chuffed to receive the gifts and I let her know they were for the staff and residents. It felt so good to do something nice for people I don't know.

As I made my way to the Home, God spoke to my heart and told me to make a similar gesture for an estate agents that used to manage my flat when we lived in Leeds. The relationship ended on a sour note nearly a year a go (you know what estate agents can be like), but God said it was time to forgive and make amends and He is always right. I promptly popped into Tesco and bought another tub of chocolates and delivered them to the estate agents. The guy I used to deal with no longer worked there but I explained the situation to the new person and said there were no hard feelings and I wanted to give the chocolates as a gesture that I have moved on. I wished them all the best and told them God bless. He was really thankful and said he'd pass the message on. It was smiles all around. Wonderful..

It is so amazing how God will change your heart if you let Him. Years ago I would NEVER have imagined doing half the things I do these days. I never thought of myself as a bad person and I always thought I was the kind of girl that would go that extra mile for people and although I would, I never actively looked for it or was fully aware of the need on my doorstep. Since giving my life to Christ, it is like I have been rewired. I see need wherever I go now and I so want to help as much as I possibly can. 

By opening my spiritual eyes God has revealed to me the areas of my life that needed to change in order to be pleasing to Him and it is such a wonderful revelation. He wants us to love others as we love ourselves, even more so, and that's what I am striving to do every day with His help and guidance. God really can change you from the inside out. He is in the business of melting and renewing the hardest of hearts. 

'A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh'

Ezekiel 36:26

His way sets you free. He is perfect. 

Thank you Jesus for your grace, wisdom and mercy. Praise your holy name forever. Amen.

Sshhh

Image from connortomas.com 

I have a confession. I'm not proud about it but I am the type of mum who Sshhh's her children quite a lot. 

It's not that I don't like them to play and make noise, it's just that there is only so much screaming, shouting, singing and banging I can handle before I start to feel like I am losing my mind. I often try to nip noise making in the bud because all too often it goes from happy and playful to crying and squabbling. It can be highly frustrating. 

I am finding that when we go out people seem to fall into two camps. Those that look on with disdain if your children are being loud, tantruming and generally running amok and those who embrace it as just kids being kids. I had an experience of the latter yesterday.

I was out with the children and my soon to be mum in law. We visited a lovely little church tea room and sat down for tea and cupcakes. When we arrived it was empty but slowly it began to fill with lovely old aged pensioners, no doubt meeting up to enjoy a quiet cuppa and a natter. It was at this moment my baby decides to practice his babbling skills. "Baba dada dada mama", he garbled at the top of his voice. Quickly my daughters joined in, adding a extra layer of volume to the ever increasing din.

"Ssshhh, sssh, sssh" I hissed, worried what the room of people mostly in their 80's must have been thinking. Then out of nowhere an elderly lady stopped me in my tracks and set about telling me; "Leave them, their singing". "They've got voices, let them sing" she turned to the children "Go on use your voices." 

I felt ashamed, because what the lovely old lady said was true. They really weren't doing any harm and kids will be kids.I think there is a fine line between letting your children express themselves and letting them run wild, but sometimes I think I am forever trying to keep my children in line because I don't want anyone else to do it for me. I don't want anyone to think badly of my children or their dad and I so I try to raise them to be mindful of others and be well behaved in public. Maybe I've been taking it a bit too far and need to relax a little, after all they don't stay small for long and if a couple of 80 year olds can put up with a bit of a din then I'm sure I can. 

Have you learnt anything about yourself lately through someone else's actions?

I don't 'heart' housework

Touché - Image from pulpshop.co.uk

I'm in the midst of a massive decluttering exercise and let me tell you it is painful. Very, very, extremely painful. We have sooo much stuff. I can't bear it. I don't even know where to start. I'm in a spin, but this absolutely HAS to be done.

I think I'll start with the children's clothes, shoes and toys. That should be a quick win. Everything they have outgrown will be sent to our local church and charities. Then I'll sort through my stuff and the better half's.

Then there is the paperwork. Please don't get me started on dreaded paperwork. I've accumulated so may bills, bank statements and boring papery toot over the months, it's built up like a dusty mountain in the corner of my bedroom or been shoved in a drawer somewhere. Every time I have a clear out I vow to get more organised, shred my documents every three months and file everything away neatly. Of course this never happens, shredding is way too boring and I've got three kids to tend to, never mind the daily grind of housework.

Why is it that housework is never ending? Just when you think you're on top of it - the laundry is done, carpet hoovered, dishwasher loaded, floors mopped, work surfaces gleaming and every toy in its rightful place. Poof! - everything is in chaos again.

Keeping up with housework is an unachievable and depressing task. Time to maybe employ a cleaner.

But I'd probably spend so much time making the house presentable for them to come and clean, they'd really be no point.

Oh life.....