Testimony Time

Well, well, well what can I say...today I have the opportunity of sharing a testimony from a woman whose walk with Christ truly inspires me. I discovered Mimi Atkins several weeks ago when I started following her on twitter (@MiMiQAtkins),
and let me tell you her tweets are like being at Church, but not any old Church, NO, NO, NO, we're talking about Holy Ghost, spirit filled, fire and brimstone, telling the whole Biblical truth, not adding to it, not taking away from it, not caring who likes it, but speaking it straight from the heart of Jesus with the conviction that will transform the hardest of hearts...Church....Phew... Hallelujah. Believe me Mimi's testimony is POWERFUL (I know I say that a lot where testimonies are concerned but it's the truth. God is AMAZING!!) When I first read her story on her blog it completely wrecked me, so I knew God was at work when she agreed to share her testimony on my little ole blog. Believe me when I say He takes the very least and makes MUCH....woohoo. Anyway enough from me. Here's Mimi's testimony of how Christ transformed her life.........

"At the grand age of 30, I sit back and look at my life and I am simply intriqued that I am even here, nestled in the Father’s arms, a safe haven that I can now call home. Arms that I ran from and avoided when all along, I knew with God is where I belonged, but I fought and I fought hard for over 13 years until finally, I conceded, but go back with me to the age of four if you will to where my life began (at least in my eyes and where I can recall):

“Get over here, you little b*%&! Sit down, eat!” I got teary-eyed as she slapped me across my face. A slap so hard that her palm print was artwork on my cheek. Yes, those were the words  and actions I was greeted with at the age of four. I was a victim of physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse from the very person who should’ve loved me most – MY MOM. My mom hated me and she made it known with each burn (from irons or anything HOT), extension cord,  hangar, brush, belt buckle, broom, you name it, I got it. I was in and out of foster care but they always returned me to her home in the hopes that she was “rehabilitated.” But if you know any recidivistic criminal – old habits die hard. They just perfect hiding them. For me, it was long sleeved clothes and make-up. Just like you can’t cover sin, you can’t cover bruises; they soon expose.

I recall vividly getting beaten naked with an extension cord and stretching my arms out and asking this person called God to just let me die in the midst of her torture when I was 12 years old. Looking back now, that’s symbolic that Christ began his teachings around that age and my gesture resembled a cross as I endured pain at the hand of the “enemy.”

I was beaten until I bled everyday of my life until I was 18 years old. So how could I love myself when I was never shown love? That’s easy, I didn’t. I had no blue print on how to be a woman of morals, pride, esteem, nor value. I had NO self-worth.

At the age of 17, a friend invited me to her church and  I learned about the man I only knew in name – Jesus. This savior who never saved me or had He?!? After two months of visiting church, I gave my life to Christ and after eight months, God whispered in my ear during service, “Surrender, MiMi. Let go of this world. You are called to evangelize.” I laughed at God as Sarah did (Genesis 18:12) and went about my life. I was on the verge of being 18; I had much partying, clubbing, and dating to do. Holiness was far from my agenda. I felt God never cared as a child so why should I listen to him as an almost adult.

At 18, I left the house of HELL! Not before I cursed my mom and told her that I hated her for abusing me. I made her look at every scar she had marred my body with and told her that I hoped she burned in HELL for being so evil and cruel to a child she bore. I walked away and never looked back. I was so distraught that I considered suicide because I felt so alone. I got in my car and just started driving  despite crying, until I got to a building (which turned out to be the church I now attend) and saw three signs: HOPE, LOVE, and JOY! I closed my eyes and started walking and prayed that I would land on the steps of “LOVE” and miraculously God would send someone to love me. I ended up on the steps of HOPE. I took that as a sign from God to persevere. I chose life instead of death and I picked up my slumbered  body and began living. I found an apartment and went to college where I majored in education.

From 18-26, I was a train wreck. I was sexually active and I used my body to get what I wanted from men. I did not care who I used or hurt, I just wanted my way. At the age of 20, I reunited with my high school sweetheart, Daniel and he drew me closer to Christ and we began to go to church together but still led a sinful lifestyle which led me to become an unwed mother. I was madly in love with Daniel, but he left me when I was pregnant because he did not want to be a father. I was alone and desolate in a big world with a big belly to bare my shame. Again, I wanted to die but God told me to live because in my womb, I carried a divine gift (think Genesis here again with the “birth of many nations”).

I admit Daniel jaded me a lot. He was the first person besides my dad to show me love and for him to leave me when I needed him most, pierced my very soul. But that is an understatement because I felt like someone gutted me, actually. To make a long story short, Daniel only saw our daughter once (when she was 5 months) and this is when the testimony turns into sorrow:

On November 1, 2006, I got the WORST phone call ever. Daniel had DIED! He was a pilot and his plane had engine failure and it crashed and burned. I WAS DEVASTATED. All the anger, bitterness, and hatred left my body as I fell to the floor and cried out to God, “WHY? WHY ME? I graduate from college in a month and I need to focus. I JUST GIVE UP, GOD! WHAT’S NEXT? I GET ABUSED FOR 18 YEARS OF MY LIFE, I FIND LOVE AND HE LEAVES ME, NOW I AM ALMOST THERE IN MY LIFE AND HE DIES! WHEN WILL SOMEONE STAY AND NOT LEAVE ME? WHO WILL LOVE ME FOREVER, GOD? WHOOO??” I asked in tears. God responded, “I WILL LOVE YOU. JUST TAKE MY HAND AND I WILL GUIDE YOU!” I rolled my eyes in disgust and sobbed into the pillow the entire night.

At the age of two, my daughter met her family for the first time at her father’s funeral. I was so humiliated and embarrassed because what I failed to tell you was this: DANIEL WAS ITALIAN and I AM BLACK. His family did not want us together because of OUR SKIN COLOR. So here I am, an abused child, living as a woman and ousted by the man I love because he could not defend me and his child. What more could a person go through?

Years passed, I healed and I even got married in 2010. That marriage was a disaster waiting to happen and we divorced in 2011. I realized then that I COULD NOT and was not CAPABLE of loving anyone until I learned to love myself. Daniel had taken my heart to the grave or so I thought….

On January 2, 2012 (my 30th birthday), I was leaving BAR ONE in Atlanta. I was on the Interstate headed east to my hotel when all of a sudden I realized my exit was coming and I could barely see it approaching even though I had on my contacts. My car skidded off the road and I was headed for several trees. I knew if I did not turn my car, I was going to die. I was scared and trembling but I veered to the left and my car halted on the side of the road with a major flat tire. My life was sparred and right then I conceded to Christ. I was tired of fighting and resisting such a loving God. I opened my arms and allowed God to take His rightful place in my life and heart.

Weeks later, Daniel appeared to me in a vision and told me to NEVER regret my decision and to, “Go with God!” I smiled because when we were at our best, he would always tell me that. He also gave me permission to let him go and to love again. He said I had held on to him for too long and since he could not return to me in the flesh, I needed to let go and love another again. As tears streamed down my face, I reached out to him only to wake up and see darkness.

For the first time, I felt free on all ends. Free to love and to accept God. That was six months ago and today I stand proud as a child of God who has endured the storms of life but I know God was always with me. I was created to be an evangelist, missionary, and work with youth. And no matter what I did, I could not run from what God wanted me to do. My life’s triumphs and struggles led me to where I am today: I am a teacher, writer, and speaker. And most importantly, I am His. Years ago, I told God, “NO!” Today, I proudly say, “YES, GOD! I am YOUR CHILD! I WILL OBEY YOU! I WALK INTO MY CALLING: I WILL BE AN EVANGELIST!”

I forgave my mom shortly after I cursed her very soul. I apologized to her for being rude and I repented before God. Thankfully, on September 25, 2006, Daniel called me and talked to our daughter – a mere month and a week before he died. I forgave him, as well. Since then, I have been hurt by many others and I forgave them. I don’t know how to hate or hold grudges. It’s not in me and I am grateful God made me that way.

Presently, I am letting God have His way in me. I am active in church. I am not evangelizing yet, but I am in spiritual training. When the time is right, I will preach my first sermon — NOT in my time, but in God’s time and I sit well with that because His timing is not ours. Pray for me and I will do the same for you!"

I told you her testimony was powerful didn't I? God is using Mimi mightily and I would encourage you to follow her blog and twitter account for more words of godly encouragement and wisdom. If you have a testimony of how God has profoundly touched your life and you would like to share it on the blog then please email me at theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.

God bless you.

Testimony Time

It's testimony time again. God is working so mightily in my life and the lives of others and I give him all the praise and the glory for enabling us to share these awesome testimonies with you all. Hallelujah!! I met Kharissa via Instagram (her IG tag is @beautifully_wonderfully), she is a strong woman of God who is allowing Him to do so much in her life. It is AWESOME. I'll hand over to Kharissa to tell you her story.

Born Again At 23

Have you ever met the guy of your “dreams” and he turned out to be a fraud? Yup. I did. Have you ever really cared for someone and they cheated on you? Me too. Have you hoped that this person was the one but your relationship was so over crowded with lies that you broke up? That's me too. Ever met someone who put you last in the relationship? Yea. I have had that too. Ever dealt with someone leaving you because you wouldn't have sex with them? Yes I’ve been through it. Ever been pressured to have sex in a relationship but in the back of your mind it wasn’t right? I’ve been there.

My name is Kharissa. I'm from Queens, NY. I’m 23 (going on 24 years old) and I’ve spent so much of my time in the wrong relationships that I never really got to enjoy a good one. I wanted so badly for someone to love me, to want me, to desire me. Don't get me wrong I have an amazing family who loves me dearly but the love I wanted was from someone who could complete me. I felt incomplete. I often felt like a lost soul looking for another soul to make me feel whole again. I always had this idea of the PERFECT relationship. The house, the dog, kids, money and a husband that does it all!!! He doesn't lie, doesn’t cheat, works hard, is romantic, is loyal, is gorgeous etc. I wanted the most fairy tale, picture perfect guy imaginable. The prince that comes to sweep the princess off her feet and they live happily ever after with NO PROBLEMS. Imagine that, a relationship with no problems. Honey, from ages 16-23 I was stuck in a fantasy.

And then one day I had a relationship that just broke me. I cared about the dude so much and he left me because I wasn't ready to have sex with him. So he cheated on me. I was emotionally invested and for 5 years afterwards he would come and go. I would allow him back (I declared that I loved him) and he would disappoint me. Then he would leave again. He would want to come back and I would open up to him only for him to keep things from me then I would leave. It was a vicious, unstable 5 year circle. It rendered me depressed and undesirable. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I began wishing I was more desirable like other girls my age and then I became angry. I became angry with God. Why didn’t He make me with a perfect figure? Why am I so skinny? Why do all my relationships fail? Now God has always been a part of my life since I was younger and this was the first time I began to lose my faith in Him. The one time I felt He was a liar because the one thing I wanted so badly, He refused to give me. I was livid and sad all the time. I felt alone, lonely and unwanted. I never cried so much in my life. I let something consume me and take control of me so much that I was losing myself. I stopped praying. I stopped hoping. I stopped caring. My voice was lost to Him and I remember feeling like “He doesn't care about my happiness so why should I acknowledge Him only for Him to be silent?” No thanks.

When I thought it wasn’t going to get better something happened to me, to my soul. The Lord came to me in a dream and gave me the choice to choose His way or the way that I was living. I never got to choose in the dream but the idea was to choose in my waking life. I never prayed so hard and since that day I wanted nothing more then to change my ways because I knew in my heart that He was who I needed in my life. I didn’t realize until just today that even though my attitude was changing there was a part of my soul that still loved God. My soul must have reached out to Him because deep down buried underneath all my negative feelings, heartache and pain I still loved Him.

Since April 8, 2012, I have been an avid church goer, a server at my church and a strong believer in God and Christ Jesus. I have NEVER felt so alive and strong. I gained so much knowledge about myself that internally I have made almost a complete 180 degree turn. I'm still a work in progress because the devil tries to bring me back to the old me but I’ve been holding on for dear life to Jesus. He has saved me each and every time. He’s brought people in my life to help me grow and stay focused and He made lessons out of those who have left me in my walk with God. He’s made lessons out of those relationships that have failed and I honestly am happy that I went through it because if it wasn't for what I been through I wouldn't be here now. I realized through my teachings at church how much I had fallen away from someone who loved more than I could ever imagine. It’s so crazy because all those times I thought I was alone I really wasn't because He was watching. He was there the whole time with a plan to change my life, with a plan to make me whole. He was there with a plan to teach me who I am called to be, not who these guys or people in my life think I am. Jesus wanted to show me His way. I was one of His lost sheep but when I was able to understand I can’t live life my own way and that I need Him. I would then come back to Him. He knew that and waited for me.

Through all of this I have learned many lessons and made a lot of decisions molding me into the person I am to today. I made a decision in my life to abstain from sex until marriage. Sex is an emotion, a powerful emotion that clouds the mind and heightens the senses. I realized that in today's generation there are too many diseases roaming around. Too many unwanted pregnancies and too many relationships bound for doom. I believe that sex was made for marriage and I have faith that God has someone for me. I made the decision to teach myself to resist temptation, to have respect for myself and my body as a young woman and declare a relationship in God through prayer and faith. God will prevail where no man can. When everyone and everything fails, He remains constant.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe there is someone reading this right now who has felt the same way I felt. Jesus can heal you. Jesus can strengthen you and God will forgive you. He loves you unconditionally; more than the human mind can fathom. It’s beautiful. He wants a relationship with you. He wants ALL of you. All of YOU! The good, the bad, the ugly and the hideous. I'm more than what my problems are and so are you. I'm called on a journey to be somebody in His kingdom. I'm important. I'm loved by a force greater than anything on this Earth. I'm loved by the creator of this Earth. The creator of you and I. He made us the way we are to fulfill a purpose in this life; to bring people to Him. I pray that you find God and you love Him through everything. I pray you find your purpose. God came and changed my life when no man could. He changed my attitude, my thinking and my focus. I'm thankful to be saved and I pray you will be too. Amen.

Glory to God. If you have a testimony of how God has transformed your life and you'd like to share it on the blog then email me: theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.

Testimony time

I am really excited to be able to bring to you this blog's very first testimony, (well apart from my own of course, but I don't think that counts lol).

Author and Youth Minister Kimberley Woolerey sent me an email a few days ago, saying she wanted to share her story on the blog. I was over the moon, after all this is how the blog came into being, me wanting to share inspirational stories with others and what a better way to kick off 2013 with a POWERFUL testimony of how Christ can change lives? And believe me HE CAN!  Nothing is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37). So without further ado, here's Kimberley's story. Praise God for all he does and and all He continues to do. 

I’m K.L. Woolerey and I am a Christian from the UK. I used to work in business admin in my pre-Christian days, but now I write Christian romances for women. I am also a Youth Minister in my church and an evangelist. I have just written and published my first Christian novel, 'Love at the Altar.' I write under the name, K.L. Woolerey. 

I always ask myself how I got here. By here, I mean at a place where I do not look at myself in the mirror and frown with horror at what glares back at me. I did not like the person I was. I felt that other girls were prettier, cleverer and worth more than I was. Sounds glum but frankly my confidence was at an all time low.

By the time, I was seventeen I suffered with my first bout of depression. I had just left college and started my first job in a sandwich shop. Things began well until I started feeling unhappy. Shortly after, I started going out with my friends and drinking. I quit my job and started temping and then unfortunately, I became unemployed. My twenties continued in that same self-destructive pattern. Because deep down I did not like who I was – I wanted to fit in with the crowd. It was easier to go along with what everyone else was doing than stand up and be an individual. I wanted to study accountancy and English – as I had always loved reading and writing. I used to love making up stories and telling them to my friends and family. In fact – I drove everyone mad with my tales. However, I did not go back to college. I wasn’t interested in bettering myself. I am an ambitious person by nature but my confidence would not allow me to stick at anything.

My family was at a loss as to what to do with me. I was bad tempered, ill mannered and miserable. I was not an easy person to be around. I hated the person I had become. I started writing again to console my unhappiness. However, even my writing was dark and full of horror. There was no light in my life. Therefore, I drank more. I found a new job working as unemployment adviser. I thought things would look up but they didn’t. In fact, it became worse. Unfortunately, I became more depressed and lost. Although I was able to hide this as I worked with many sociable people, which offered a place to hide who I really was. I was Kimberley, the life and soul of the party, not Kimberley a girl in need of help.

When I was twenty-seven, I went to church with my mother in Barbados.  She is a Pastor and I’d always declined her offers before. When I first stepped into the church, I felt something different. Everyone just seemed so happy and alive. I remember a woman asking me for prayer – and I said no. I didn’t want prayer. I didn’t see how prayer could help me. Then when I went home that night I found myself reading a scripture from the bible and asking God what was wrong with me? Why was I always feeling like this? I did not want to spend the rest of my life in that state. I wanted to change. Shortly after, I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior and started attending church. I started to build a relationship with God by talking to him every day about my problems and the way I was feeling. The first scripture that I started to learn was Matthew 7: 7. Ask and it shall be given onto you. I started asking. Every day I asked God to change me. When I went back to UK, God gave me the courage to quit smoking and drinking. I distanced myself from bad influences and spent a lot of time alone in prayer. I started to build relationships with people in the church and day by day, I found an inner peace that was beautiful, electric and addictive.

It was more addictive than alcohol or feeling depressed. I started to feel good about who I was. When I smiled, it was real. When I thought of my future, it was full of hope and prospects. Jesus had completely transformed my way of thinking and I was positive for the first time in my life.

I went back to Barbados some months later – not knowing that God was going to do something wonderful in my life. I began working on a Christian romance about a young girl who meets the man of her dreams while she is accepting Christ at the Altar. I did not even think I would complete it as I have started novels before. However, there was something different about this one. I knew that God was with me on this, as I could never have written this book on my own. Fast forward months later – I was looking at the Amazon Kindle chart and 'Love at the Altar' was at number 15! I shouted for joy. I have had such a positive response from people online, in the church, and now I really believe that God can work miracles. I am now working on the second instalment in the 'Love at the Altar' series, and I’ve got people telling me that the book has made them believe in love again. How wonderful. I feel so blessed that God saw someone like me as a worthy enough cause. Even when I was crying into my pillow at night – He saw my tears whilst knowing that one day He would dry them.

My journey to Christ and to publishing my book was a hard one, but He brought me out of a dark pit of self-destruction. My aim now is to inspire others. I want to tell people that they can overcome anything and achieve their dreams. Jesus doesn’t look at what you are. He is interested in what He can do with you. So do not look at what you are now. You are a work in progress. And when God is finished with you – your life will never be the same again.

Glory to God. Hallelujah!! What a MIGHTY AWESOME God we serve. Special thanks goes to Kimberely for sharing her powerful and inspiring testimony. If you have a testimony of how God has transformed your life and you too would like to share it on the blog, just drop me an email at theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

God bless.

A New Church

I've found a new church and I love it. Just before Christmas I'd been praying for God to lead me somewhere new because I didn't feel I was growing where I was so I really wanted God to confirm if what I was feeling was of Him or me. He confirmed that the tugging at my heart was definitely Him and He set about making things work out and man have they WORKED OUT!!

A few weeks before Christmas my mum was given a flyer from some young people who were rapping, singing and envagelising outside KFC next to Barking station in East London. I was seriously impressed by this flurry of activity despite not seeing them myself and I felt heavily called to go to the Church and I'm so glad I did go because it is truly amazing. Christ most certainly answered my prayers. I have been going for just over a month now and I feel like this is where God wants me to be. The Pastor and his wife are great people and the sermons are powerful and convicting. The congregation is relatively small but already it is growing week by week with people from all walks of life.

In addition to the Sunday morning service, we have Sunday evening Bible studies, and a Wednesday evening service. I love the fact that services go on in the week. Seriously if I could I'd be at there EVERYDAY. I yearn for God's word so much. This Church has me so excited because they are seeking to find solutions to the problems within the local community by using the principles of God's word. Pure and simple. It is SO POWERFUL. A large percentage of the congregation are under 21 and believe me when I tell you that these guys are on fire for Jesus. They are spirit filled and on a mission to live as God has called them to. They are completely set apart and they set such an awesome example for the even younger children who are in attendance. It is amazing to witness, especially when these days the youth are accused of bringing so much disrespect and disruption to society. Christian youth are the role models our communities so desperately need. Amen!

I am bubbling with excitement when I think of how God has led me to be precisely where I was praying to be. There is so much potential for me to grow spiritually and minister to others. We come together in fellowship frequently and there are plans for concerts, a football team and a variety of other community activities that will bring Jesus to the people, just as God intended...Woohoo! Hallelujah! Such exciting times ahead!

I serve such a mighty, awesome God. His glory amazes me every single day. Thank you Jesus.

Looking deeper

It is so crazy to me to have to say this, but at the age of 33 and three quarters I really do not recognise the person I am. This person who thirsts for Jesus, who stands in awe as she witnesses the changes He is making from the innermost core of her being outwards.

I often look at who I am now and wonder what the old me would think. I think the old me would admire my deep passion for Jesus and the fact that I'm not ashamed to proclaim the things He is doing in my life. Just for the record, He can do the same in your life too.

The old me would probably think I'm going a tad bit overboard with all the proclaiming of Christ and I should probably calm it down a bit, the old me would never dream of speaking so openly about her faith all day every day, because she was quite a private person you see, and she also cared a little too much about what other people thought, the new me is filled with a Holy boldness that is untameable. How can I possibly stifle what lives within me and has my soul on fire? The Holy Spirit lives within me, it is He that is responsible for the changes in me, so how can I possibly hide Him away when I AM Him? Phew that's DEEP.....

I think what I am trying to say is that God has touched my heart so profoundly and I am so excited and amazed at what He has done and continues to do in my life that I can't but help share my experiences with you all in the hope that you too will reach out to Him and allow Him to transform your life as well. Amen!

Seriously everything in my life is different. Everything I used to take for granted, I give the utmost thanks for. Do you know how blessed we are to be alive on this Earth? Millions didn't make it to see this morning, but we did. That my friend is a blessing of huge proportions.

What I have begun to notice more too is there are so many hurting souls out there yearning for a simple smile or a friendly 'Hello' or 'How are you?' to brighten their day. Take yesterday for instance, I was out and about and I had to take the train. I needed assistance with the lift (at my local station, the staff have to chaperone the lift for whatever reason) and since I had my son in his pushchair one of the station staff came to help. She was a woman who looked to be in her 50's she didn't look very happy, she gave me no eye contact and generally seemed quite hostile.

Undeterred I struck up a conversation with her, I can't remember what my first words were, but I think I mentioned something about the weather. I definitely remember asking if she had a long day ahead. At that point her whole face softened and she began to explain to me that yes she had a long day ahead, and she wasn't feeling well because she had a hernia in her chest which was making it difficult for her to breath and she was waiting for an X-ray appointment...

Wow. God really spoke to me in that situation. There I was pre-judging her, thinking she was hostile and rude, but when I extended myself to her and dug deeper, right there, just under the surface lay a whole array of worry and pain that was troubling her. Simply by striking up a conversation, her whole demeanour changed. Just listening to her plight humbled me, yet at the same time I could feel I was bringing her some comfort just by listening. 

I wish I had been thinking clearly because I would have asked if she would like me to pray for her. I hope I would have been brave enough to do so if the thought had entered my head. Nevertheless I wished her all the best and told her I hoped she felt better soon. I did say a personal prayer for her afterwards too. I truly believe this goes a small way in demonstrating what Jesus means when He says love thy neighbour (John 15:12). We should care for one another and be concerned for each others well being. Strangers in the streets are our neighbours and you never know what kind words you speak could lift their spirits today.

An amazing Christmas

Christmas 2012 was completely glorious. We spent it with the OH's sister, her fiancé, their son and Grandma.

They have recently moved into an apartment just a stones throw away from Canary Wharf and it is GORGEOUS.

Unfortunately the OH caught the lurgy, so he spent most of the time throwing up, drinking diarolyte and lying down. Poor daddy. It was a shame because OH's sister always puts on an amazing spread and the food did not disappoint. It was completely scrummy. I even fell in love with Christmas pud, which I'm not really a fan of but it was so tasty, especially when steaming hot and topped with a generous squirt of whipped cream.

We were truly blessed because there was a moment when we thought we wouldn't make it to her house. Our car is kaput, so I had to borrow my mum's car. We picked up OH's mum in south London, then the car wouldn't start and it was pouring with rain. We were all too embarrassed to ask the neighbours for a jump start, but thankfully after a call to my mum, the car started. At that point my mother in law said she'd sent up a quick prayer, I'm telling you PRAYER WORKS. In the heat of the moment I hadn't even thought to do that *slaps forhead and hangs head in shame*. Well at least one of us was on the ball. Thank you Jesus.

I'll leave you all with some pics from the day, can you spot the insane shoe collection? I always knew OH's sister loves shoes but this was something I'd never seen before, plus this was AFTER she'd got rid of 70 pairs 0_o lol....

I can truly say I had a wonderful Christmas and it really is the simple things, Jesus, family, love and thanksgiving that make it what it is. I hope you all had a beautiful, blessed Christmas too.

Friday reflections - week 9

Source

So I'm truly practicing what I preach! After dropping my girls to school yesterday morning,  I went on a mission (son snuggled up in his buggy) to seek out people in my local community who are in need. I had a bag with some jeans, a body warmer and a thick cardigan jacket courtesy of my brother who purged his wardrobe the night before and donated a large amount of clothes.

I headed out, praying to God as I went, asking Him to reveal to me who He wanted me to reach out to. First port of call was my local 'Savers' shop, (if you're not familiar, it's a bit like Wilkinson and the Pound Shop rolled into one). It stocks well known brands at great prices, so I bought toothbrushes, several pairs of gloves and a bumper pack of pocket sized tissues. Well you never know what someone might need do you?

I walked through the shopping mall and saw several people who caught my eye, in particular a lady with tears in her eyes, who looked directly at me and smiled, but before I could say anything to her she hurried off on her way, all the people I saw were not obviously down and out (not that they had to be), and they all seemed to be in such a rush. 

Undeterred I hopped on the train, determined to find someone I could give to. When I got to my stop I felt led to walk away from the town centre and towards the local park. As I crossed the road I saw a disabled boy crossing the road with someone who seemed to be his carer, they appeared to come out of a building on the corner. I approached a lady as she was about to enter the building and asked her what went on there. She said that it was a home for disabled children whose parents were too ill to look after them. Wow! I looked to the heavens and thanked God for leading me there. I was amazed. I had driven past this building numerous times and never once had I really noticed it or known its purpose. I asked if they took donations of any kind and they said 'No'. Not giving up, I asked to take their contact details so I could speak to the managers and see if there was anything I could do for them.

With a bounce in my step I went to the park, hoping I might find someone to give the clothes in my bag to, but since it was so bitterly cold the park was understandably rather empty. I let my son go on the swings for a bit then made my way to another train station to get home, again hoping I'd see someone to help. On this occasion it wasn't to be and I ended up giving the clothes to two charity shops instead.

Today I went out armed with some more clothes, it was wet and windy and quite difficult to determine who I could help. I'm going to continue with this approach though. I know in time I will build my confidence and find people to help. And I can't forget about the home I came across. I'm excited to discover how deeply I'll be able to help out there! 

I'm going to leave you with a blog post from Francis Chan's tumblr here. He is such an amazing preacher and he has truly inspired me to be a more radical follower of Jesus. Maybe you will be inspired to do something too.

Glory to God!

Crossroads and confessions

Since becoming renewed in my faith a few weeks ago. It has been made painfully obvious to me there is an area in my personal arrangement which needs to be reconciled before I can move on in confidence with my life as a Christian.

You see, I am not married to the father of my three children. We live together as man and wife and we do everything that a man and wife do (well we haven't been doing 'that' since I've begun to grow more spiritually). But anyway, my thing is this. I want to be married much sooner rather than later.

I have begun to see things a whole lot clearer now and really, what on Earth are we actually waiting for? We have three children and nearly eight years of togetherness under our belt. The money situation or lack of, (where a wedding is concerned) always has and always will be there. I am convinced it will only be an issue if we allow it to be.

If I had my way we'd be married tomorrow, just us two and our kids, but the OH is not so sure. He believes in God and is also a Christian but he is not where I am on his Christian journey. He thinks I'm only rushing things because of my renewed faith and no longer wanting to live in sin. He would be right, but I really don't see the problem. We have been planning to get married anyway right? Maybe it goes deeper still....

If I'm really honest it's the whole sex, I mean intimacy thing that bothers me the most. In the Bible fornication is not pleasing to God (1Cor 6:18-20). I have always known this in a roundabout way, but never seemed to think it applied to me. Huh? I was never truly conscious of it, I think is what I'm trying to say.

As I begin to read more and more of the Bible I wonder why I never used to take this more seriously before now. What have I been doing all this time? I know I was embarrassed about my situation especially after baby number two and three came along and we still weren't married, but I just pushed it all to the back of my mind. I hid from it. Before I was more into pleasing myself. Now I understand the brevity of life on this Earth and I want with all my heart to spend my remaining years pleasing God. I know there will be trials and tribulations along the way, but His divine grace and glory will carry me through each and every hurdle, just like it always has.

Going back to the intimacy stuff, I am happy to wait until we are married to resume our sex life but I think OH will struggle (or maybe it's me who is already struggling) hence why I want to speed up our nuptials. I guess I want to do this more for him and his 'manly needs' than for me (for the record he's been less persistent than before - God is working) but we are human and he is a man and temptation is sure to come our way at some point. I mean after eight years and three kids there's been a substantial amount of love making that has gone on. To have it stop, just like that is a real test.

All in all this is not something I plan on worrying about I just wanted to put it out there. I know God has a plan for all of us and He will bring me through this crossroad in my life. All I have to do is pray with faith and belief and he will do the rest.