I want to be married (I think)

More and more of late I've had a yearning to be married, like right now. I don't know if it's the romantic deep within fighting to get out or the sheer embarrassment and shame (we are christians) of having three children out of wedlock or maybe it's the fact that I'm rapidly approaching 33, but either way I feel the need to be a Mrs. The thing is I'm not sure how we get there anymore.

I read this great post on the London Bride blog recently. It was about long engagements and it got me thinking about the situation the other half and I have found ourselves in.

My fiancé proposed in glorious style along the river near Tower Bridge in early 2008. It is now 2012 and nothing is planned, booked, mentioned or talked about. It can't help that he runs his own business and I'm looking after our three children, so between the two of us we are usually too exhausted or too sidetracked to talk about us and this marriage/wedding malarkey.

I must admit I do get cold feet every now and then, when I'm having to constantly remind him to give me money for the bills or repeatedly having to pick his crap things off the bathroom, bedroom, living room floor. Then there's our different approaches to money. I'm pretty good because I'm organised. Him not so much. I often wonder if the issue of credit ratings and such like will impact me negatively when we get married, but that's not the way I should be going into it surely?

Compared to hideous exes, my fiancé's short comings are insignificant. And after all nobody is perfect and it's all about compromise. I know there are a lot of things about me he probably grins and bears (heck he probably doesn't even want to get married anymore but hasn't got around to telling me yet - *shudders*) so it all evens out I suppose.


The fact of the matter is, he is most definitely THE ONE and I want to be his wife but money is tight, (we've moved back to our one bedroom flat to save money for goodness sake so how can we possibly afford a wedding??). We both come from big families so nothing is ever going to be small and discreet. Maybe I'm just creating barriers and we should just go ahead and do what we can afford (zilch) and please ourselves rather than everybody else.



I think this could well be my dress of choice.
*rubs hands together excitedly*
Looks pricey though.



I swore to myself 2013 would be the year we became husband and wife. This extended , drawn out engagement stuff has gone on long enough. This wedding has to happen doesn't it? Even my little sis who isn't even in a relationship right now has more of an idea of what her wedding will look like than I do.



I've got to get this thing moving....

....right that's it, we will have 'the talk' tonight and a date will be set.



Keep me in your thoughts.