An amazing Christmas

Christmas 2012 was completely glorious. We spent it with the OH's sister, her fiancé, their son and Grandma.

They have recently moved into an apartment just a stones throw away from Canary Wharf and it is GORGEOUS.

Unfortunately the OH caught the lurgy, so he spent most of the time throwing up, drinking diarolyte and lying down. Poor daddy. It was a shame because OH's sister always puts on an amazing spread and the food did not disappoint. It was completely scrummy. I even fell in love with Christmas pud, which I'm not really a fan of but it was so tasty, especially when steaming hot and topped with a generous squirt of whipped cream.

We were truly blessed because there was a moment when we thought we wouldn't make it to her house. Our car is kaput, so I had to borrow my mum's car. We picked up OH's mum in south London, then the car wouldn't start and it was pouring with rain. We were all too embarrassed to ask the neighbours for a jump start, but thankfully after a call to my mum, the car started. At that point my mother in law said she'd sent up a quick prayer, I'm telling you PRAYER WORKS. In the heat of the moment I hadn't even thought to do that *slaps forhead and hangs head in shame*. Well at least one of us was on the ball. Thank you Jesus.

I'll leave you all with some pics from the day, can you spot the insane shoe collection? I always knew OH's sister loves shoes but this was something I'd never seen before, plus this was AFTER she'd got rid of 70 pairs 0_o lol....

I can truly say I had a wonderful Christmas and it really is the simple things, Jesus, family, love and thanksgiving that make it what it is. I hope you all had a beautiful, blessed Christmas too.

Melting hearts

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Last week I blogged about reaching out to others and giving more here and here. God has really been working on me in this area and the Holy Spirit has filled me with a heart that just wants to GIVE. I am a stay at home mum of three, but I can honestly say that I give more now than I ever did when I was career girl without kids and a disposable income. It's crazy to think that back then I used to want more, but nowadays I just want to give more. And you know what? Whilst I give, the good Lord provides for my every need. Seriously my kids do not go without. Don't get me wrong, we are by no means well off, we live in a one bed flat and the kids and I split our time between the flat and my parents home, but somehow it all works out and I am at peace, despite the situation being very far from ideal. I'm telling you it is only God that can provide you with that kind of peace when everything around you appears to be so completely hopeless.

So as I was saying, in my previous post I talked about how God led me to a home for disabled and mentally ill children that is virtually on my doorstep but I didn't know existed. I got talking to the director a few days later over the phone and asked him if there was any need that my church or I could assist with, like donating clothes, supplies, anything to support the residence and staff. He couldn't think of anything off the top of his head, but said we could come in and sing Christmas carols. FABULOUS. That was until my whole family and I got super sick with the winter vomiting bug..... *sigh*

Undeterred, I bought a few boxes of mince pies and a big tin of chocolates stickered them up with some messages about Jesus and love, wrote out a card and delivered them this morning. I got the idea for the stickers from this wonderful blog here. (Thank you for the heads up Jules. Jules is the creator of The Year blog. Another fabulous read which I thoroughly recommend.) The receptionist was chuffed to receive the gifts and I let her know they were for the staff and residents. It felt so good to do something nice for people I don't know.

As I made my way to the Home, God spoke to my heart and told me to make a similar gesture for an estate agents that used to manage my flat when we lived in Leeds. The relationship ended on a sour note nearly a year a go (you know what estate agents can be like), but God said it was time to forgive and make amends and He is always right. I promptly popped into Tesco and bought another tub of chocolates and delivered them to the estate agents. The guy I used to deal with no longer worked there but I explained the situation to the new person and said there were no hard feelings and I wanted to give the chocolates as a gesture that I have moved on. I wished them all the best and told them God bless. He was really thankful and said he'd pass the message on. It was smiles all around. Wonderful..

It is so amazing how God will change your heart if you let Him. Years ago I would NEVER have imagined doing half the things I do these days. I never thought of myself as a bad person and I always thought I was the kind of girl that would go that extra mile for people and although I would, I never actively looked for it or was fully aware of the need on my doorstep. Since giving my life to Christ, it is like I have been rewired. I see need wherever I go now and I so want to help as much as I possibly can. 

By opening my spiritual eyes God has revealed to me the areas of my life that needed to change in order to be pleasing to Him and it is such a wonderful revelation. He wants us to love others as we love ourselves, even more so, and that's what I am striving to do every day with His help and guidance. God really can change you from the inside out. He is in the business of melting and renewing the hardest of hearts. 

'A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh'

Ezekiel 36:26

His way sets you free. He is perfect. 

Thank you Jesus for your grace, wisdom and mercy. Praise your holy name forever. Amen.

Friday reflection on Tuesday - week 10

This post was meant for last Friday, but my little boy fell down the stairs and a whole lot of sickness happened so blog posts were far from my mind. Here it is now though.....

It really is the simple things in life which bring the most joy, peace and pleasure.

A perfect example of this happened last Saturday. My mum, along with my nine year old nephew, were giving the children and I a lift home. With the season of goodwill in full swing, the streets have completely lit up with sparkling Christmas lights and festivity as homemakers embrace the spirit of Christmas and embellish their windows with dazzling light shows and shimmering decorations of mesmerising proportions. If you have children you can just imagine how much excitement this brings. On the whole journey home all I heard was:

'Wow'
'Amazing'
'Look at those'
'Aren't they beautiful?'
'Oooo...' and that was mainly me lol.

My nephew and children were in complete awe of all the beautiful colours and sparkles adorning homes throughout each neighbourhood we passed;

'Mummy look'
'Wooo'
'Fantastic'
'So lovely'
'So pretty'

And on and on it went. The sheer wonder and awe filled the entire car and was completely infectious. My mum and I beamed all the way home and I felt ridiculously warm and fuzzy inside. God is so good and I am so thankful for my life and the lives of my children and family. The best things in life really are free.

My blog is one today!

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I'm saying a prayer and blowing this candle out!

My blog is one today! My, my, my, Woop woop!! I really wanted to do something special to celebrate, what with Christmas being around the corner and all, but I'm a bit rushed off my feet and haven't been able to organise anything *sniff, sniff*. Never mind though, you can rest assured I'll be planning something special to mark the occasion. I'm not quite sure what yet, but it'll definitely happen, so watch this space.

12 months have completely flown by and my blog looks very different to what I planned it to look like when I started out. What is that saying about 'plans and fools'?? or is it; 'make God laugh, show him your plans'. Lol - Soooo true. Since I've been born again my life has been forever changed. Things that used to be important really don't make sense to me any more. 

This Christian walk is so exciting, yet there are sacrifices to be made in order to glorify God. Everyday I'm learning this and everyday God is giving me the strength to walk confidently in his truth. Wow what a difference a year makes. Here's to another year of following my God given purpose on this planet, drawing closer to Him and sharing my journey and revelations with all of you. 

I want to say a BIG thank you to all the wonderful people that follow and read my blog. I really do hope you continue to enjoy the ride.

xxx

My journey to natural hair

Image from MadameNoir.com

My last relaxer was on Saturday 22 January 2011. I didn't know it then but that was the beginning of my journey back to natural hair.

I got my first relaxer when I was 14. My younger sister and I had pestered our mother for what seemed like a lifetime. We were fed up of our frizzy, fluffy hair that didn't move and wouldn't sit down the way we wanted it to. Growing up in a predominantly white area there were no other young black girls we could relate to and it was the mid nineties when the likes of AAliyah (God rest her soul), with her gorgeous, side swept, long hair was the image ideal. Well she was mine. 

After my first relaxer I was amazed at how silky and long my hair was. I was a bit disappointed at how limp it looked, and the burns on my scalp but that was OK, I could deal with that. I had no more fuzz.

17 years of relaxers every six  to 12 weeks ensued,along with the no scratching the night before, the inevitable scratching because the relaxer was due and the subsequent burns and scabs as a result. When I look back I'm extremely sad that I put my scalp through so much trauma time and time again. I wasted so many hours, days and weeks, sitting in hairdressing salons wasting my whole Saturday, wasting my money on sub-standard services. Every time I went to a different salon they would have something completely different to tell me about my hair and what products to use; not too much oil because your hair is fine, no products with water, because it will dry your hair out, no this, no that and blah, blah, blah..

All of this information felt so invaluable at the time, but the day after a re-touch, my hair would be wrecked if I didn't wrap it properly or tie it up at night and despite all the recommended products I brought, my scalp would still flake like crazy, my ends would turn an awful, over processed shade of brown, and don't even get me started on the recommendations to dye my hair jet black to hide the off brown tinge. My scalp would be stained midnight blue for weeks. Not a good look. It was frustrating and annoying. How could you spend so much for the outcome to be so mediocre? It seemed the more I got my hair done, the worst it would be.

After each of my pregnancies my hair would shed like mad and I would be left with two bald patches on each side of my hair line. The only thing I could do was to cut it all off and start again, rocking a cute Halle Berry signature crop. This would be great, until the style started to grow out and I would have to relax more often due to rapid growth when it was short. As a result my hair would revert back to the over processed mess it once was. It was a vicious circle.

Now I am deep into my transition to natural hair and it began for a number of reasons.

As well as the points mentioned,  I simply became disillusioned with relaxed hair. I was fed up of spending the money, I had a third child on the way and I couldn’t justify the expense any longer. My hair was unhealthy and never looked or felt great. Plus my sister had begun transitioning six months prior and I was surprised at how kinky and curly and pretty her natural hair was. I had relaxed my hair for so longer I forgot what natural hair was like and that was despite having two daughters with afro hair. It was a joke. I had been blinkered for far too long.

So that was it. My mind was made up. At that point I hadn't put chemicals in my hair for 4 months anyway and my roots were manageable so I just continued to grow out the relaxer and it has been easier than I thought. I was so worried that I would have to deal with a matted, dry, frizz ball. (There have been times when it has looked like an afro, fuzz ball but I'm learning how to moisturise and detangle). How would I manage my natural hair in the work place? Would it be time consuming to style? Would it  look professional? Would I have the patience? I needn't have worried, everything has gone better than expected. There is still a lot to learn and improve upon, but I love my natural hair and its waves and kinks, it's so versatile I love it. Yes that's right I love it.

I feel free and empowered and unique.

At my work Christmas party I was even complimented for my cute little pin-rolled updo, something I would never have imagined. I wish I had embarked on the natural hair journey sooner, but now I'm here there is no way I'll ever turn back. 

(Unfortunately I don't have any good pictures of my natural hair at the moment. A new baby and no decent camera has been some of the reason. Now I have a lovely iPhone that will all change, so look out for pics of me rocking my natural hair in all its glory in future posts).

Family, foibles & fun times



Image by =_RoBeR_= Flickr

I'm the eldest in a family of four. Growing up in a reasonably big family used to feel like a massive inconvenience. There was always some kind of argument going on. Someone was always getting blamed for what someone else did. There was never enough room, way too much sharing and food portions were always miserably small. Well I suppose I'm exaggerating, but in my memory being the eldest of four children felt at best slightly annoying and at worst completely and utterly suffocating.

These days I couldn't feel more thankful for having the three siblings that I do. All three are very different, but all three know who I am inside and out and I know them the same way. With siblings there is such a profound sense of commonality. Shared history, shared ways of thinking, shared parents, shared lives - it's great.

The banter between us always has me in hysterics. At Christmas we sat around and reminisced about our childhood, and the time we were caught running the streets in the school holidays when we should have been inside. We all scrambled for dear life trying to out run our Dad's car, praying he didn't see us (obviously he did), petrified of the punishment that lay in store. Or the time when my brother bit through his bottom lip after the armchair he was balanced on the back of toppled backwards and he went flying. I spent the whole evening trying to hide him from my Mum and when she finally caught up with us he had to be taken to hospital to get 6 stitches..... Or the time I jumped over the garden fence into our elderly next door neighbour's garden to retrieve a wayward ball. Only for the neighbour to catch me red handed and threaten to tell Dad that I had been trespassing. I was so scared of the repercussions. Looking back it all seems so trivial, at the time it felt like a life or death situation. The stories are endless and I love it. Memories are truly priceless.

I remember growing up my parents always used to tell us; 'These days are the best days of your life'. I always wondered what the heck they were talking about. I couldn't wait to be an adult, independent and living by my own rules. Now I understand that adulthood brings with it a whole new set of rules. How is it parents (mine in particular) ALWAYS know best?