Me plus three.

Right then. It's been long enough. I can't stop blogging because I've hit on hard times, that would be plain silly (although I realise that's precisely what I've been doing....*sigh*).

Well the fact of the matter, is I'm now very much a single Mum. Sometimes the person you thought you knew, you really didn't know at all and you just have to let go in order to experience God's best for your life. It's beyond sad I can tell you and it wasn't what I'd planned for my life, but I must say that since the decision was finalised, I feel like a new person. Obviously I feel a lot of guilt where my children are concerned, especially as I wasn't raised in a single parent family, but even through the brokenness of the situation, God is showing himself to be more present than ever before.

My children and I will be just fine. Staying prayed up, putting all my trust in my God and looking forward to what lies ahead. Everyday is getting easier and I know amazing times are in store....watch this space.

'God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.'
Psalm 46:1

School's out

My youngest daughter at her end of year nursery concert.
She's the little one in the red sun hat.

I can't believe it, my daughters have completed a school year! Praise God! You can read all about their first days here and here.

It is such a cliche but time has truly, TRULY flown. My children are growing so very quickly and in September 2014 (only 12 months you know) my little boy will be starting pre-school *breaks out in cold sweat*. All of these events which seemed to be a lifetime away are coming to pass.....and it's crazy, inevitable obviously but still CRAZY all the same.

I'm looking forward to taking it easy, and not having to worry about early morning starts....my kids for some strange reason struggle to get up, despite going to bed at a decent hour (I know many Mum's would give their right arms for this 'problem' lol). I'm hoping this habit remains in the 6 weeks.

I'm also looking forward to lazy days and weekends at the coast, the beach, park, visits with family and friends, just spending time with my precious bundles and relishing their company. I know it all sounds a bit rose tinted, but I really want to embrace every moment, because once the moment has gone you don't get it back. Plus I only have a few more years of them actually wanting to be with me all of the time, so I'm going to bask in their dependence on me whilst I can.

My girls and my nephew taking a rest at Hainult country park

Little man - not so little anymore...

Lots of family time in store.
Shame little man wouldn't co-operate for this pic - ahh well lol

A lovely afternoon...

I started writing this post on Sunday, with every intention of posting it ON Sunday, but life is hectic, so here it is on Wednesday................enjoy!

Today was one of those lovely kind of days where everything was just, well lovely.

The sun was beaming, the world was bright and shiny and everything was good. Praise God!

I attended an event in Islington with my sister and it was really enjoyable. Titled 'Calm down it will grow naturally' it was an event aimed at celebrating natural hair. Being a Christian, I loved the fact that the organisers Ranette and Cresha and the event host Annell Smith did not shy away from their faith and they boldly proclaimed their love of God by sharing scriptures and giving a prayer of thanksgiving before we ate.

There were a selection of speakers who shared information on everything from the science of hair courtesy of Michelle Grande from Afrotherapy to a mini demonstration on how to style your own hair from the lovely and super talented natural hair stylist Tieska McDowell; that was A LOT of fun and I've started practicing an inverted French plait from the nape of my neck upwards thanks to her. High five Tieska.

As I've been natural for two and a half years, some of the information I was already quite familiar with. However I loved the intimate setting of the meet; a Greek/Lebanese type restaurant, where we ate and drank whilst listening to the speakers. The lovely Erica, co-founder of Love Harlem spoke about caring for natural hair and gave five alliterative principles. Her product range is gorgeous, and I managed to nab a sample of the Love Harlem Avocado Butter, courtesy of my sister who won a goodie bag and was generous enough to let me have the butter. Thanks sis.

Another speaker was Gillian who talked about her journey to sisterlocs. This was very interesting as I don't know much about locs, but learnt that in order for your locs to be called sisterlocs they must be installed by a qualified sisterloc technician or trainee, who has to be certified by the home office. Think I remembered that correctly. If not please forgive me. All sounded pretty hardcore and serious to me. Also, contrary to popular belief you can return to natural loose hair, if you no longer want your sisterlocs. Gillian knows a few people who have done just that. Only snag is it took THREE AND A HALF MONTHS to take them all out....Wowzers!!!

Last up was Nwadi, who spoke on the politics of natural hair. Really thought provoking and got me thinking about a few things. It was also nice to meet her, as we follow each other on twitter. She is a bubbly, beautiful person.

After the speakers there was an opportunity to network and I made some great connections....AND bought a gorgeous canvas bag courtesy of The River Hut Company. Looking forward to what lies ahead......a great Sunday!

The lovely Tieska demonstrating her awesome talent.

My Love Harlem goodies

Meeee

My River Hut Company canvas bag. I LOVE it.

My beautiful sister with beautiful Gillian who talked about her Sister locs.

Making time

Hello lovely readers, I'm writing this post at four minutes to three in the morning. It seems the dead of night is the only time I get to think straight and get my thoughts down in a coherent manner.

I don't know exactly what it is lately, but my mind feels a bit all over the place, you know, trying to do a million things at once and then feeling like you're not doing any one thing particularly well.

I'm sad that my blogging seems to have slowed down as much as it has. There has been so much going on and I have lots to share with you all, (the picture shows me and my store Naturally Nourishing at the Hilly Fields Fayre last Saturday) but time seems to get the better of me. I need to refocus and get better organised. Or maybe this is just a season I'm passing through, where I need to sit back and take stock of everything that's going on.....

Either way I will not fret or worry The good Lord has it all worked out. He is in control. Hopefully I'll be back on the blogging treadmill very soon too.

Curlvolution 2013 baby!

Well where do I begin? Curlvolution happened on Saturday and let me tell you it was a blast!!

Last year I was an attendee in the audience, this year I exhibited as a vendor...my, my, my God is so INCREDIBLY good!! From the venue, to the location, to the content of the show, to the mix of people....Curlvolution has it going on and then some. It's unlike any event of its kind in my humble opinion. The vibe is one of inspiration, encouragement and love. Seriously, to see black women and men come together as one and celebrate who we are, what we are doing and what we are about to do is awe inspiring and I thank God that the black community is coming together in such a positive and progressive way.

As I was a vendor with my store NaturallyNourishing.co.uk this year I didn't get the opportunity to watch the show in its entirety, like I did last year, but I could hear a lot of what was going down. Action Jackson was again hosting with his unique mix of straight talking motivation, encouragement and laugh a minute jokes. The man is truly one of a kind and he does a great job at hosting the event and getting everyone fired up.

There was an interview with the actor Jimmy Akingbola aka Dr Antoine Malick from Holby City and American blogger Afrobella, for more details about the show you'll have to pop over to other blogs because I'm sure to miss out the juicy bits. It was so good to catch up with all the fabulous bloggers out there; the gorgeous Nicola of BelleNoirBride and her beautiful bump, Leilu from online hair and beauty product store and blog Afro Deity, Michelle from Cherished Crowns blog, Neffy Fro Fro aka Laila-Jean of Fusion of Cultures vlog, Crystal Afro aka United Kinkdom blog, Stacey of The Naprika vlog, Ketishia from Sugar Kinesis, and Elle and Neecie from the mighty Natural Hair Daily, every single one of them completely gorgeous and lovely (I'm quite clearly in gush mode, but it's all truth).

A special shout out goes to Curlvolution extraordinaire Bukky and her husband Tola...you guys tore it up!!! Thanks too to my little sis Charlie B who swopped her days so she could get time off of work to help me out, thanks sis and thank God for little sisters, without whom I'd be totally and utterly lost.

As a vendor the experience was equally as inspiring as it was when I was an attendee last year. All the other vendors were absolutely lovely too; superfunkyme selling customised jewellery, my girls Mane Diva's with their own line of hair products, as well as weaves and tropic isle lines, lovely Imanmade and her wonderful homemade skin sensitive body butters, root2tip and iloveafro with their amazing natural hair product ranges, Sheabutter Cottage, Beunique Hair Care, Ayamour, it was so great to see so many budding and established black businesses pulling together and supporting one another through networking, planned future collaborations, awesome conversations, so inspiring. I was there selling the products I love by Anita Grant and Fountain oils, they were so well received and I did really well. I also got an opportunity to get up and speak and plug my new venture; www.NaturallyNourishing.co.uk I can't quite believe that the seed that was sewn a few years ago is finally coming to fruition. In a few short weeks things have just come together so smoothly and my table looked so professional I felt shocked and proud that the good Lord has enabled little old me to step out and do what for many years I couldn't see how I would be able to do. I'm telling you guys, through Jesus Christ anything is possible. Praise be to God and God willing Curlvolution 2014 here we come !!

My birthday

My birthday meal was SENSATIONAL. I want to eat it again.

It was my birthday yesterday and I had the BEST time. Despite some issues I am going through, the good Lord blessed me with a birthday I will remember for quite a long time, it was FABULOUS.

It started off with lovely cards from my mum and nephew which brought tears to my eyes, then both my little sisters had the day off, so they came over with lunch and flowers - I felt so pampered.

I launched my online store www.NaturallyNourishing.co.uk on my birthday too, which felt like such an achievement, plus I  made my first 'official' sale; granted it was to my sister, but hey, a sale is a sale right?

In the evening we had dinner at the fabulous 'Burger or Lobster' in Soho. My sister did all the organising as she had been there previously with work friends and oh my it was bliss. My cousin and one of my good friends were also in attendance which was a wonderful surprise, the day just seemed to keep on giving, I was in my element. So back to the food and the menu was really simple, yet so astonishingly delicious. There were three options; burger, chips and salad or lobster, chips and salad or lobster roll, chips and salad. Super simple.

After dinner we pootled onto Haagen daz for more delicious treats and laughs aplenty - Such an extraordinary day.

Gulp...

On a separate note I'll be attending this years Curlvolution 'Curlfriend's day out' event. It takes place on Saturday 25 May at the Crowne Plaza Docklands and it is certain to be awesome. Last years event was a blast, so I'm expecting bigger and better this year and if the line up is anything to go by, I know there will be no disappointments. It's hard to believe that last year I went as an attendee and this year I'll be there as a vendor. I'm telling you God is so good, and SO ABLE!!!

If you haven't already got your tickets then what are you waiting for? This is an event not to be missed. They'll be giveaways aplenty. Plus the lovely AfroDeity are providing some excellent Castor oil and Pimento oil samples courtesy of Fountain oils, so I'll have some goodie bags and giveaways up my sleeve.

See you there.

Four!

This cheeky little girl is four today. Oh my how the years have flown. She was the biggest of my three precious children and she made me work for her arrival into the world.

I am so blessed to have my precious little Amber. Such a loving, tender and kind child with a healthy dose of cheeky defiance for good measure.

I thank God for her life and pray that she will always be as happy, healthy and carefree as she is now.

Happy Birthday gorgeous girl. Mummy and Daddy love you to infinity and beyond xxxx

Stepping out in faith....

Thank you to the wonderful  Amy at Dotty pink Designs
for designing my fabulous logo.

So for a while I've been contemplating whether I could actually do what I'm about to do.....we can spend so much time pondering and analysing whether we are capable enough, whether we have enough of this, or too little of that. Well ENOUGH. The good Lord has provided us with everything we need and with Him in control, I've decided to step out and take the plunge....

www.NaturallyNourishing.co.uk
Twitter: @NaturallyNou

I'll be exhibiting at The Nubian Spring Event on Saturday 27th April in Hackney, East London, selling gorgeous Anita Grant goodies. Come and say 'Hi'. Details are here.

See you in 8 days!

Beautiful Bournemouth

We ventured down to the South Coast last Tuesday. For ages Alex had spoken about wanting to take the kids to Peppa Pig world and since he had a few days off of work we seized the opportunity.

We reached Hampshire about 3.30pm ish, too late to make the most of the theme park, so the Mr made the fantastic decision to pop down to Bournemouth. I was not convinced at first, it's been cold and dreary, so why go to the seaside? Well I was left eating my words.

Tuesday was an exceptionally sunny day and the 30 minute drive from our hotel in Hampshire to Bournemouth passed quickly. When we got there to my surprise it wasn't ridiculously cold, but sunny and bright. The sound of the sea, coupled with the beautiful sandy beach and clear blue skies completed lifted my spirits, it took me completely by surprise and was so unexpected. I don't think I realised how much the insanely cold, dank weather had been affecting me.

So we meandered along the seafront, the girls went on a trampoline which they loved whilst I helped the little man walk along a wall. Then we had a Harry Ramsden fish and chip supper on the beach whilst the kids dipped their toes in the icy water and played in the cold sand. They had a complete blast.

After, we walked along the beautiful Bournemouth pier and took in the breathtaking views of the horizon. My phone battery died some moments prior so I was unable to capture the moment, but it will forever stay in my heart.

Our impromptu trip to Bournemouth made me realise exactly how tough the past few months have been. Just being able to enjoy the simply beauty of nature and bask in God's creation blessed me in abundance. The Lord always shows me His unending love, grace and mercy when I need it most. Thank you Father.

On a separate note the weather went Baltic the next day, so Peppa Pig world, although excellent was freezing. We will most certainly go again in the summer (watch out for the post), where hopefully we will be able to experience it's fun fabulousness in the warmth and brightness of the summer sun.

Growing

It's been a while. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life right now. I've been really busy but feel I don't have much to show for all the busyness LOL. All in good time. God knows best.

It's been a while since I talked about my wonderful children so I thought I'd dedicate this post to them. They are growing so quickly and they are such a joy and a blessing; my three little companions.

My girls are coming on leaps and bounds at school. They love it. My 5 year old has started reading and writing, it's the basics at the moment but it is so mesmerising to witness my child doing all these things. I thought we'd have to do much more than we have to get her to the point she is at, but she is flying way ahead with little help from us at all much to my embarrassment. Her teachers are really pleased with her and her Dad and I are so proud.

Our three and a half year old is following swiftly in her big sister's footsteps and she can write her name and most of the letters of the alphabet. Like her big sis she is an amazing artist (they definitely get this from their Dad) and they both love to sing and dance and giggle all day long.

My little man has come on leaps and bounds too. I can not believe he is two in two and a half months times. It is IN.SANE. He is talking so much and I can hold a pretty meaningful conversation with him. He helps me to hang out the washing and do the hoovering, such a lovely little helper. He adores singing and dancing and it is such a pleasure to watch him in full swing. To top it all off he started telling me he wanted to do a 'wee wee' at the weekend, so I promptly sat him on the toilet and he went. Twice. On two separate occasions. Who said potty training boys was hard? LOL.... I know there's still a way to go yet, but I'll keep following his lead.

Oh children they are such a precious gift from God. Yes it gets hard and yes there are sacrifices that have to be made but I wouldn't trade being a mum for anything. I love my children with all that I am. Thank you Lord for blessing me with these little lives. I am teaching them about You and they love You, I pray they will continue to grow to know and love You more, in the precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Until next time lovely readers stay blessed. Xx

Testimony Time

It's TESTIMONY TIME. Today's testimony comes courtesy of the lovely Anne-Marie Clarke. Anne-Marie and I have been following eachother on Twitter for months and when I first started blogging I was going to feature her in an inspirational interview feature I was running at the time. For one reason or another the interview never materialised. However, fast forward several months and now she's on the blog to testify to God's amazing love, grace and mercy. I'm telling you when you make everything about Jesus, things that you never thought would/could happen or simply gave up on start coming into fruition. IT IS AWESOME!! Thank you Jesus!!

So without further ado here is Anne-Marie's powerful testimony taken straight from her blog.

"Well It's been a while,I don't know why I've been procrastinating, but I'm finally here! So the Holy Spirit showed up and stirred up the hearts of the young people in our regional praise and worship service last Sunday night. WOW WOW WOW! How Great is our God? It was truly a blessing. I was filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time, and I felt strongholds being lifted off. WoW! I was truly in awe of God's presence, and since last Sunday I have been in the spirit of worship. I can't find words to describe how much I love God. On Tuesday night, I was talking to my amazing sister in Christ Kelsey and we were talking about the amazing things God has done in our lives and where He has taken us from. I felt in my spirit God saying 'It's time to 'Align myself with His word' I was like; '...errmmm, what does that mean God?' It simply meant for me that I had to get to know God truly for myself and what HE thinks of me! I was like 'woah'... that was truth right there. The enemy has a way of creeping in and feeding my mind with his lies, and for years I have believed him and carried on living my everyday life. 

Since being sexual abused by my cousin at the age of eight years old the devil automatically allowed me to believe that it was my fault, that I was in the wrong somehow, and not knowing any better I believed him! My innocence was taken. I felt awful. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me, that no one would ever love me! I didn't know what love felt like from a male figure. My Dad left when I was seven years old and he was the only male role model in my life. So I walked around with this secret for years. Even at the age of nine, when I went to a child doctor for weeks of counselling to find out why I was different, disturbed and with drawn I still couldn't open up! I didn't speak up until I was 21 and I told a counsellor. But by then years and years and years of guilt, hurt and damage had built up! I believed there was no one out there who could help me! I felt useless, ashamed and betrayed.  I remember being homeless and living on the streets. I would go to work with my bags and wash in the disabled toilets. An amazing family (the Beaumont family) took me in. I will never forget their grace and kindness, I will forever be grateful to them. After years of depression and self harm and 3 failed suicide attempts I am still here! Why?? Because GOD had a divine plan for my life!!! I did not see what God was doing in my life at the time, but He saw the best in me when the world could only see the worst. The pain had a purpose. He kept me even when I didn't want to be kept! He loved me when I was in my sin and shame. But what blows my mind is how he delivered me!

He delivered me from self harm. I was self harming two to three times a day. The fire, the iron, the blade, scissors. What ever I could get my hands on, where ever I was! I wanted to feel something, be something. But all I saw was blood, lots of it, It didn't heal my broken heart.  But God!


Suicide. I was in the hospital many times, I went to the mental hospital for many different appointments. I was on all kinds of anti-depressant medicines. But in my head all I wanted to be was dead. I never thought there was a way out, a light at the end of a tunnel. My aim was to end my life. But God! 


Depression. It took over my life for many years. I was forever low, unhappy, unpopular. I felt like I had no purpose, no goal, no ambition. I felt I was merely living to exist. I was bullied, pushed down stairs, bitten and blamed. I had no confidence no self esteem, no self worth. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror, I cursed my life and asked God to not wake me up in the morning. I have no use or purpose in this life. 


But God was there every step of the way. It's hard to believe that when I gave up on him, he NEVER gave up  on me. When I began to seek God for myself and got to have a one to one relationship with Him I got to find him for myself. It was an awesome finding too. I began to see that I wasn't a disaster, I wasn't a mistake, I shouldn't have been aborted, I was here for a divine purpose and for a time like this. I had to really cry before God, and search deep into my heart and ask God for healing and forgiveness. I think that was the hardest part. But when I focused on God and His word, I began to feel and treat myself differently. I began to see myself like God see's me. I Am who I Am because I am His! Once you align yourself with God and his word you are going in the right direction! 

"From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center and its all about you"

Deuteronomy 28:13  ^'And the Lord shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the Lord thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them.' 


Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.'


Psalms 139:14 ^'I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.' 

Such an Awesome testimony. Thank you so much for sharing Anne-Marie, I know God will reach out and minister to a lost soul through your testament to what God can and will do in the lives of those who really believe and trust in Him. Hallelujah Jesus!!

If you have a testimony of how God has transformed your life then please do get in touch by emailing me at:  theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk

Friday reflection

I went to my first ever pinky promise meeting last night and it was incredible. The pinky promise movement is a ministry that was set up by Heather Lindsey, for women who want to honour God with their lives and their bodies. So we're talking about no sex before marriage, women knowing their worth in christ and all that good stuff.

Six ladies which included my sister and I met up in a coffee shop in central London and the Holy Spirit moved mightily in that place. We shared our testimonies and gave eachother godly words of encouragement. These ladies were spirit filled and on fire for Jesus. It felt so good to fellowship with ladies who have so much passion for Christ. The way He transforms lives will never cease to amaze me. It was AWESOME and powerful and I can't wait until the next meeting. I could go on for ages about how positive the whole experience was but I'll keep this post short and sweet. What I will say is that God really does move in mysterious ways, there is only ONE God, ONE Jesus and ONE Spirit and after yesterday's meeting that became so very clear to me. I received confirmation on a lot of things. Who but God could move in this way? Thank you Jesus.

Hanging in there....

First we were supposed to be getting married on May 11 2013, then March 23 2013, then April 12 2013 (this date is no longer happening either *sigh* *scream* - long story)....now it's quite clear to me that I don't know precisely WHEN I will be getting married. All I do know is that IT WILL happen THIS YEAR!! (I've bought virtually everything I need, so there most definitely has to be a purpose, I have faith that God wouldn't have me doing all this work for nothing). The past few weeks have been tough. Feelings of doubt, discouragement and weariness have plagued me, but I am NOT GIVING UP. God gave me a promise and He keeps His word. Delay doesn't mean denial, so I'm pressing on and refusing to be moved by what I see. Hallelujah Jesus!!

My next step now is to be patient and rest. I've done all I can do, so I must trust in God's timing as He works everything out for my good. Romans 8:28. Not easy, but very necessary.

So guys there will be no talk of marriage around these parts until the venue is booked and the invites have gone out. I think I'll drive myself and all of you stir crazy otherwise. I'm hanging on and keeping the faith, already I can feel God working things out in the situation, so it's onwards and upwards as I keep rejoicing His holy name. Thank you Jesus!!

Testimony time

It's testimony time on the blog again. Testimonies are awesome and I absolutely love hearing about how God powerfully moves and transforms lives. It is wonderful to hear about God's enduring mercy and love. Today's testimony comes courtesy of the lovely Jules. I stumbled across her on twitter after someone retweeted one of her blog posts which immediately caught my eye. I began following her on twitter and after reading her fantastic blog I swiftly began following her there too. (Click here for Jules' blog). I found I had a lot in common with Jules, especially in terms of how we viewed God as we were growing up. 

Even though we have never met, Jules' relationship with Christ is a real inspiration to me and I truly look forward to her blog posts where I can read about all the amazing things God is doing in her and her family's life. I could keep talking about how great Jules is, but I'll hand over to her and her awesome testimony.

My Story

It’s an honour to be asked to share my testimony with you. Testimonies are such a great way of sharing the love of God. After all anyone can argue about the truth of the Bible, or whether God exists and all, but it’s much harder to argue with someone's personal experience. And it’s all the disciples and early believers had to share with others - their own personal experience.

So, I was brought up in a Christian family. From a young age we went to church and Sunday School. I was baptised and later confirmed. When I was about 16 I started going to a youth group with a friend at another church and I think this was the beginning of my true journey with God, I mean I certainly had questions and I wanted to know more about God (although the boys at the youth group had a certain pull too and in fact one of them is now my husband…!)

So this was great for a while until I did the typical teenage thing of ‘going off the rails’ and got into all sorts of things that I am not particularly proud of. Although that said, We are all the sum of our lives so far and I know the things I went though in those years have made me the person I am today. And you know, if I hadn’t been there maybe I wouldn’t now be truly following God.

So, anyway, I was pretty desperate to get away from home and so I went travelling. Although God was often in the back of my mind I pretty much ignored him during this time. I did lots of very stupid things (drink, drugs, sleeping with people, generally being very careless and foolish) and looking back it makes me shudder to think of the path I was on. I don’t want to make it seem worse than it was, I wasn’t an addict and certainly wasn’t at deaths door but I was on a destructive path, I didn’t really care about myself. I was very insecure and had issues with not eating too, which didn’t help. So to cut this long part of the story short, I ended up pregnant, a long way from home with a man that was certainly not father material. Despite my situation I knew I could not have an abortion, I just wouldn’t even consider it – from the very second I found out I was pregnant I knew I would have the child. Looking back I think that it was meant to be, and considering the many factors surrounding both our relationship and how we lived, it is literally a miracle I even got pregnant and a miracle the baby was born healthy and happy. (not that I’m suggesting there was any divine conception, that was simply my own mistake...!)

I actually ended up coming back to the UK and settling near my family, who despite initial reservations (that’s a bit of an understatement…) were very supportive. I started to go back to church and actually got involved a bit with it, everyone there was very helpful and lovely. But still, I think I went more out of habit than because of a true relationship with Jesus.

A few years later I got together with an old friend (from that youth group), we fell in love, subsequently got married and had more kids. We continued at the same church and even got involved helping out some more, but my heart wasn’t in it and we rarely, if ever, talked about our faith. As I look back I’m not sure why or what I even believed over this time – I think I had some small measure of faith then but I was and continued to be plagued by doubts.

So finally, about 5 years ago I made the decision to stop going to church. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had been confused for so long and the final straw was the thought that my children would go through the same as me – constantly wondering whether God was real or what to believe. That had plagued my life and I didn’t want them to go through that too.

On top of that we were actually going through a really tough time in our relationship too. That year was not a good year for us! I felt we were drifting apart, I couldn’t see us apart but we certainly weren’t together. Neither of us could see any way out of the situation unless something changed, and yet nothing could change. I had also been going to yoga for about 10 years and after effectively ‘giving up’ on a Christian God I started to ask my yoga teacher about going on Buddhist retreats, doing meditations etc, generally I guess I was looking for answers elsewhere. I began to embrace this and having always thought of myself as a ‘bit bohemian’ and being rather arty I felt comfortable that it fitted with me and my lifestyle.

…and that is when God showed up!

At this time we were planning an extension on our house and we became friendly with most of the builders, one in particular. I remember one day him saying he would tell me his story when we had time. A few days later (and the timing was totally lousy – the house was really at its worst point with stuff everywhere, my son was ill, I was due to leave imminently to drop him at my mums etc) he started sharing his testimony with me.

It’s fair to say, this changed my life. It was totally full on, right from the word go. I had never heard this kind of Christian testimony before, a real warts and all approach with such amazing experiences. I was completely blown away. Over the next few days and weeks he spoke to me more about his faith and what he had experienced. Some of it was really hard to believe, real ‘supernatural’ stuff and talk of Satan, the force of evil, demons and so on. In all the years I had been to church I had never heard anything vaguely approaching this. I wasn’t even sure I believed in hell. But I needed to hear this – My approach to anything in life is not to do anything by halves, I want to know everything about a subject and I do things with my all. Now, I was totally overwhelmed but couldn’t get enough at the same time. Prior to this I was one of those who thought that if I lived a good life and did the ‘right’ thing I would be going to heaven. How wrong I was! I didn’t even really know that the only way to God was through Jesus. I had always been confused about God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit and all I needed was someone to explain it to me really!

Anyway I can’t remember how long this went on for (but a few weeks I guess) and I gradually started asking more questions – things I had always had difficulty with or things I wanted to ask more about. I know at times I must have been a right pain in the butt, just asking all these questions, often not accepting his answers and disputing things, but during this time a few things started to happen to make me think more about it all and there were way too many ‘coincidences’ for me not to believe. Eventually he just said to me ‘I think we should pray together’ and that’s when I said the Sinners Prayer (a dedicating of ones life to God) on 16th December and gave my life to Jesus, surrounded by building chaos, screaming kids and the clutter of life – but it was perfect – that is what my life is like anyway and God knows that! Then the very next day I led my husband in the sinners prayer too, and shortly after that we started attending a local church – but this time one that is perfect for us. At the time I wrote this:

‘I know that I am saved. That I am starting a relationship with God, that I have a new life, I am reborn. I don’t recognise myself most of the time but it is the most awesome feeling! I know that my life has purpose, in fact I almost feel a bit smug some days that I know this great secret that others don’t know. I wish everyone could know it, if only it were so simple…’

And the thing is, it IS simple! And amazing and wonderful and transforming and overwhelming, and sometimes hard, but I hope I will never look back, never walk any other path than this one because it is absolutely the best!

The 'MGW' assignment - week 9 - Isaiah 53:5

Happy Sunday everyone, hope you are all well. As you may have noticed I haven't been posting the memory verses on the blog each week as intended. Too much going on and too little time. To be honest it's not only that, I'm finding that social media, if you are not careful, can very quickly eat into a lot of your time, and before you know it your blogging, tweeting and pinning more than you're reading your Bible, praying or helping those in need right in front of you and that ain't good!! I'm trying to get the balance right by seeking God FIRST before and above everything. Pray for me. If you follow me on Instagram I have been posting the verses every week there so if you want to catch up on previous scriptures just pop over to my IG page. You can click on any of the IG pictures in the side bar on the right, and it will take you to the page.

So let's get to it. This week's memory verse as with all of God's word is powerful. The Holy Spirit laid this verse heavily on my heart in the early hours of this morning, so here it is. Isaiah 53:5 is a scripture which reveals what Jesus Christ overcame when He sacrificed Himself for us.

Jesus Christ is our Way Maker, He is our Intercessor, our Redeemer, our Healer. Without Him making the sacrifice of shedding His innocent, precious blood on the cross there was no way of us sinners being reconciled with God, our Heavenly Father. He who bore no sin was beaten, spat upon, humiliated and murdered in the worst way possible so that we could be cleansed of our sin and have eternal life with Him in Heaven, if we accept Him as our personal Lord and saviour, which is precisely what He is.

He died on Calvary's cross for our transgressions, for our iniquities, for our inability to right the wrongs, which began in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. He bore the brunt of all of it for all our sakes. He was whipped with a lead tipped rope. His flesh was torn apart and by His very wounds, His very suffering WE ARE HEALED!! There is POWER IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS to break every chain of bondage, oppression, sickness, weakness, depression, addiction, anger, frustration, manipulation, self pity. Whatever stronghold is destroying your life, Jesus Christ can deliver you. Let Him into your life, into your heart and see how He transforms you.

Phew....I need to get my praise on!! Hallelujah Jesus!!! Holy Ghost power people. It is REAL. As always meditate on this verse in the morning and before bed and throughout the day if you can. I would also encourage you to read the whole of Isaiah chapter 53. It is mind blowing. This is in addition to your daily prayer time and communion with The Lord. Please feel free to comment so we can fellowship. Have a blessed week.

Friday reflection - Things are getting real around here...

Hello everybody,

Well what can I say? A LOT has been going down. The Mr and I were at the registry office this morning giving our notice of marriage...yes it's all go, and we've confirmed the date and venue. Whoopeeeee!! The way the sun was beaming down this morning after the appointment, made me feel so blessed to be alive. I know the good Lord is shining His face on us and we are walking the path He wants us to walk. I know it's not always going to be easy, nothing in life is, but when I am weak He is strong. He has already proved this to me time and time again. Glory to God!!

We're getting married in mid April, not the end of March (as we thought last week), to be honest that is much better even though there's only a few weeks in it. So the date is Friday 12 April 2013 and it's all go, Go, GO!! 8 weeks TODAY!!! Ooooweeeeee!!

As mentioned last week, I had my first dress fitting which went really well. The seamstress is great. I've got a second fitting next Saturday, by which time I'll have to have my shoes. I saw a lovely pair last night at Westfield when Alex and I went out for a meal, but alas they were too small. The price was perfect but the hobbling after a minute on my feet was not... lol.

We tried on rings too that was VERY exciting. Alex isn't really a jewellery wearing type of guy but the ring looked amazing on his hand. This is all beginning to feel so real. I'm still in awe of how things have turned around at the speed they have, in the way they have. Seriously when God says something IT GETS DONE, and not in our time but HIS. Favor, favor, favor, Glory, glory, glory.

As the picture above says an AWESOME God deserves an AWESOME praise and let me tell you if you begin to take your walk with Him seriously your mind will be blown by the faithfulness He will show you. Praise Him forever!!

Doesn't the ring look gorgeous on his hand?
I loved mine too. So delicate.
Need to try on again with my engagement ring.

Friday reflections - dress fitting tomorrow!

source

Phew....what a difference a few weeks make. This time last month I was a few weeks into the separation from my OH and today, on Friday 8th February 2013, we are on the verge of confirming our March 2013 wedding date. Who but Jesus could work such wonders? Our parents are meeting tomorrow to discuss all the details and I have my first dress fitting tomorrow too.....wooHOOOOOO!!

This morning I dropped my girls off to school and scooted off to my local town centre to see if I could get some bridal underwear. Apparently you have to wear the lingerie you will be wearing on the day, as well as the shoes you plan to wear, so the dress can be altered accurately. Thank God for Marks and Spencer is all I can say because I was in such a rush I didn't really have time to go to a lot of places, so in faith I went to M&S and I found precisely what I was looking for. A lovely attendant fitted me to double check my size (34B)...and fortunately I had a picture of my dress, so she was able to give her opinion on whether she thought the bra I chose was suitable. As soon as I picked it up I knew it was the one, and when I tried it on my thoughts were confirmed. It fit perfectly and gave me a nice shape (believe me I need all the help I can get after three kids and losing a bit of weight LOL). To add an extra layer of blessing into the mix, M&S currently have an offer where if you have a bra fitting with one of their attendants and spend over £30 on lingerie you get £5 off. I qualified for that, so I got the discount which came in super handy.

It really is all go. We've got our girls dresses and our son's suit to buy (not to mention a TON of other things), but I have seen outfits in Monsoon, M&S, John Lewis and Next which I think would work really well, the OH and I just need to confirm our colours/theme. I may even stick with the dresses I bought for the girls from Mini Mode last summer, but something tells me they lack the WOW factor...hmmmm.

The one thing I'm missing for tomorrow's fitting are my shoes. I didn't really want to rush that purchase, and I have to pick up my youngest daughter from pre-school by 11.40 am, so I think I'll just take some heels that I already have, at least that will give the seamstress an idea of height. My, My, my...I can't quite believe things are starting to fall into place the way they are. I will begin to feel more at ease when we have the date booked, but that will be in a matter of hours and anyway that is not for me to worry about because God has it all under control. Just look where He has brought me thus far?? Praise Him!!

There's something I have to tell you...

...The Mr and I are getting married.....NEXT MONTH!! Can I get a Hallelujah and an Amen? God is so good. I'm probably being a little hasty, but I can't hold it in any longer. There's so much I have to tell you all and so much I have to do. I'm a massive ball of nervous energy aka STRESS and excitement. I'm keeping this post short and sweet but promise to keep you all in the loop.....watch this space.

Testimony Time

Well, well, well what can I say...today I have the opportunity of sharing a testimony from a woman whose walk with Christ truly inspires me. I discovered Mimi Atkins several weeks ago when I started following her on twitter (@MiMiQAtkins),
and let me tell you her tweets are like being at Church, but not any old Church, NO, NO, NO, we're talking about Holy Ghost, spirit filled, fire and brimstone, telling the whole Biblical truth, not adding to it, not taking away from it, not caring who likes it, but speaking it straight from the heart of Jesus with the conviction that will transform the hardest of hearts...Church....Phew... Hallelujah. Believe me Mimi's testimony is POWERFUL (I know I say that a lot where testimonies are concerned but it's the truth. God is AMAZING!!) When I first read her story on her blog it completely wrecked me, so I knew God was at work when she agreed to share her testimony on my little ole blog. Believe me when I say He takes the very least and makes MUCH....woohoo. Anyway enough from me. Here's Mimi's testimony of how Christ transformed her life.........

"At the grand age of 30, I sit back and look at my life and I am simply intriqued that I am even here, nestled in the Father’s arms, a safe haven that I can now call home. Arms that I ran from and avoided when all along, I knew with God is where I belonged, but I fought and I fought hard for over 13 years until finally, I conceded, but go back with me to the age of four if you will to where my life began (at least in my eyes and where I can recall):

“Get over here, you little b*%&! Sit down, eat!” I got teary-eyed as she slapped me across my face. A slap so hard that her palm print was artwork on my cheek. Yes, those were the words  and actions I was greeted with at the age of four. I was a victim of physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse from the very person who should’ve loved me most – MY MOM. My mom hated me and she made it known with each burn (from irons or anything HOT), extension cord,  hangar, brush, belt buckle, broom, you name it, I got it. I was in and out of foster care but they always returned me to her home in the hopes that she was “rehabilitated.” But if you know any recidivistic criminal – old habits die hard. They just perfect hiding them. For me, it was long sleeved clothes and make-up. Just like you can’t cover sin, you can’t cover bruises; they soon expose.

I recall vividly getting beaten naked with an extension cord and stretching my arms out and asking this person called God to just let me die in the midst of her torture when I was 12 years old. Looking back now, that’s symbolic that Christ began his teachings around that age and my gesture resembled a cross as I endured pain at the hand of the “enemy.”

I was beaten until I bled everyday of my life until I was 18 years old. So how could I love myself when I was never shown love? That’s easy, I didn’t. I had no blue print on how to be a woman of morals, pride, esteem, nor value. I had NO self-worth.

At the age of 17, a friend invited me to her church and  I learned about the man I only knew in name – Jesus. This savior who never saved me or had He?!? After two months of visiting church, I gave my life to Christ and after eight months, God whispered in my ear during service, “Surrender, MiMi. Let go of this world. You are called to evangelize.” I laughed at God as Sarah did (Genesis 18:12) and went about my life. I was on the verge of being 18; I had much partying, clubbing, and dating to do. Holiness was far from my agenda. I felt God never cared as a child so why should I listen to him as an almost adult.

At 18, I left the house of HELL! Not before I cursed my mom and told her that I hated her for abusing me. I made her look at every scar she had marred my body with and told her that I hoped she burned in HELL for being so evil and cruel to a child she bore. I walked away and never looked back. I was so distraught that I considered suicide because I felt so alone. I got in my car and just started driving  despite crying, until I got to a building (which turned out to be the church I now attend) and saw three signs: HOPE, LOVE, and JOY! I closed my eyes and started walking and prayed that I would land on the steps of “LOVE” and miraculously God would send someone to love me. I ended up on the steps of HOPE. I took that as a sign from God to persevere. I chose life instead of death and I picked up my slumbered  body and began living. I found an apartment and went to college where I majored in education.

From 18-26, I was a train wreck. I was sexually active and I used my body to get what I wanted from men. I did not care who I used or hurt, I just wanted my way. At the age of 20, I reunited with my high school sweetheart, Daniel and he drew me closer to Christ and we began to go to church together but still led a sinful lifestyle which led me to become an unwed mother. I was madly in love with Daniel, but he left me when I was pregnant because he did not want to be a father. I was alone and desolate in a big world with a big belly to bare my shame. Again, I wanted to die but God told me to live because in my womb, I carried a divine gift (think Genesis here again with the “birth of many nations”).

I admit Daniel jaded me a lot. He was the first person besides my dad to show me love and for him to leave me when I needed him most, pierced my very soul. But that is an understatement because I felt like someone gutted me, actually. To make a long story short, Daniel only saw our daughter once (when she was 5 months) and this is when the testimony turns into sorrow:

On November 1, 2006, I got the WORST phone call ever. Daniel had DIED! He was a pilot and his plane had engine failure and it crashed and burned. I WAS DEVASTATED. All the anger, bitterness, and hatred left my body as I fell to the floor and cried out to God, “WHY? WHY ME? I graduate from college in a month and I need to focus. I JUST GIVE UP, GOD! WHAT’S NEXT? I GET ABUSED FOR 18 YEARS OF MY LIFE, I FIND LOVE AND HE LEAVES ME, NOW I AM ALMOST THERE IN MY LIFE AND HE DIES! WHEN WILL SOMEONE STAY AND NOT LEAVE ME? WHO WILL LOVE ME FOREVER, GOD? WHOOO??” I asked in tears. God responded, “I WILL LOVE YOU. JUST TAKE MY HAND AND I WILL GUIDE YOU!” I rolled my eyes in disgust and sobbed into the pillow the entire night.

At the age of two, my daughter met her family for the first time at her father’s funeral. I was so humiliated and embarrassed because what I failed to tell you was this: DANIEL WAS ITALIAN and I AM BLACK. His family did not want us together because of OUR SKIN COLOR. So here I am, an abused child, living as a woman and ousted by the man I love because he could not defend me and his child. What more could a person go through?

Years passed, I healed and I even got married in 2010. That marriage was a disaster waiting to happen and we divorced in 2011. I realized then that I COULD NOT and was not CAPABLE of loving anyone until I learned to love myself. Daniel had taken my heart to the grave or so I thought….

On January 2, 2012 (my 30th birthday), I was leaving BAR ONE in Atlanta. I was on the Interstate headed east to my hotel when all of a sudden I realized my exit was coming and I could barely see it approaching even though I had on my contacts. My car skidded off the road and I was headed for several trees. I knew if I did not turn my car, I was going to die. I was scared and trembling but I veered to the left and my car halted on the side of the road with a major flat tire. My life was sparred and right then I conceded to Christ. I was tired of fighting and resisting such a loving God. I opened my arms and allowed God to take His rightful place in my life and heart.

Weeks later, Daniel appeared to me in a vision and told me to NEVER regret my decision and to, “Go with God!” I smiled because when we were at our best, he would always tell me that. He also gave me permission to let him go and to love again. He said I had held on to him for too long and since he could not return to me in the flesh, I needed to let go and love another again. As tears streamed down my face, I reached out to him only to wake up and see darkness.

For the first time, I felt free on all ends. Free to love and to accept God. That was six months ago and today I stand proud as a child of God who has endured the storms of life but I know God was always with me. I was created to be an evangelist, missionary, and work with youth. And no matter what I did, I could not run from what God wanted me to do. My life’s triumphs and struggles led me to where I am today: I am a teacher, writer, and speaker. And most importantly, I am His. Years ago, I told God, “NO!” Today, I proudly say, “YES, GOD! I am YOUR CHILD! I WILL OBEY YOU! I WALK INTO MY CALLING: I WILL BE AN EVANGELIST!”

I forgave my mom shortly after I cursed her very soul. I apologized to her for being rude and I repented before God. Thankfully, on September 25, 2006, Daniel called me and talked to our daughter – a mere month and a week before he died. I forgave him, as well. Since then, I have been hurt by many others and I forgave them. I don’t know how to hate or hold grudges. It’s not in me and I am grateful God made me that way.

Presently, I am letting God have His way in me. I am active in church. I am not evangelizing yet, but I am in spiritual training. When the time is right, I will preach my first sermon — NOT in my time, but in God’s time and I sit well with that because His timing is not ours. Pray for me and I will do the same for you!"

I told you her testimony was powerful didn't I? God is using Mimi mightily and I would encourage you to follow her blog and twitter account for more words of godly encouragement and wisdom. If you have a testimony of how God has profoundly touched your life and you would like to share it on the blog then please email me at theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.

God bless you.

A lot of a little equals much

It's been a truly mind blowing few weeks. A lot, and I mean a lot of little things have been going on in my life which has been literally knocking me sideways. By themselves each incident appears to be quite insignificant, but add them all together and my, my, my we're beginning to seriously enter into the realm of the supernatural.

Such is the extent of the daily blessings God is bestowing upon me I've had to start writing a journal just to keep up with everything. Don't get me wrong some days have been really, really tough, but I'm holding on, pressing in and keeping the faith and I'm giving thanks for every little thing, no matter how seemingly small and insignificant. I'm telling you when you allow the Lord to renew your mind and adjust your attitude then EVERYTHING becomes a blessing. You become grateful and thankful for everything He has graciously provided you with because things could be a whole lot worse.

I know something big is about to happen and although I can't see it yet, I know my God is a covenant keeping God and His promise to make everything work out for my good will come to fruition woohoo.

Romans 8:28 is the scripture that most speaks to my heart right now. It's so amazing how God works and I can't wait to share with you all the extent of what is going on in my life when the manifestations of His promise begin to really take place. Yes Lord!! Excited doesn't even begin to cover how I'm feeling and it's all because of my Lord and personal saviour Jesus Christ. Praise Him!!