Coping

Being a mum of three children is not easy. If we're honest being a human being in this World isn't easy. My journey to motherhood was a rocky one. I suffered multiple miscarriages before discovering I have a Balanced chromosome translocation. A condition which means my propensity for recurring miscarriages was and is 1 in 4. I suffered four traumatic miscarriages before going on to have three healthy babies in quick session. Never did I think this would be possible.


My complicated pregnancy history meant I had to have CVS procedures for each of my three successful pregnancies. These were carried out at Kings College Hospital London, an excellent specialist hospital which helped me through the whole of my pregnancy journey good and bad.


The reason I reminisce on all of this is because despite the harrowing road I have travelled to get my three children I still have moments when I'm so stressed out with motherhood, my relationship with my OH, family members, people, the world, my life. I have days when I wallow in self pity, and I feel completely ungrateful, especially for not embracing this beautiful gift that is motherhood. My goodness there were days I would cry and worry and resign myself to the fact that I would never have a child of my own.


There were moments I would long for just one baby, and here I am blessed with three and wallowing in the stress of it all. Wasting days feeling sorry for myself when I should be rejoicing EVERYDAY for the miracles that have been bestowed upon me.

I lost an ovary during my third unsuccessful pregnancy. The pregnancy in which I lost a little boy at 20 weeks. At that point I thought I was doomed. Could things get any worse? How on earth could I ever possibly have a baby when I had a genetic condition and only one ovary? But it is not for me to know how, because through God Almighty ALL things are POSSIBLE. I am testament to that.


No matter what you have been through or what you are going through, no matter how low you are, He can make a change. When I lost my baby I wanted to die, not to kill myself, but be free of the horrific emptiness that consumed me. I would look at the beautiful clouds above and long to be reunited with my son. I was 25 years old and in a terrible relationship that was about to end, I lost my baby and nearly lost all hope. Never in my life had I been so low. How did I get from that dark place, to where I am now? Three children who have a loving father and me a fiancé? Only by God's Grace.


I am writing this post because I am seeing things more clearly than I have for a long time. A few weeks ago I was in quite a tough place. I was feeling unsettled and dissatisfied with my lot, and then I had a life changing experience whilst at a church conference (something I will have to go into more detail in a future post). It has rejuvenated my passion for my faith.


Before this, I was slipping into a place I didn't belong. I was drifting away from Christ and getting complacent. I even found myself liking alcohol a little too much. It went from being something I'd enjoy in the evening every now and again with the OH, to something I was looking forward to whilst on my own. Not to get wasted, (those days are long gone) but to take the edge off the frustration and irritation I seemed to constantly feel. I wrongly believed my children to be the cause, but it was me and my inability to realise my blessings, give thanks for what I DO HAVE rather that what I DO NOT. I was not putting God and his Word first, my faith had waned and I was getting caught up with ego, pride and feelings of self pity. Well not any more. My eyes have been opened. I want to follow His Word and take my Christian life seriously. I am reading my Bible and I am praying for God to show me the purpose He has for my life. The Christian path is not an easy road and I am not perfect, but if I keep my eyes on Him and follow His word, the Holy Spirit will do the rest.


I think I'm going to stop there now. There is so much more I want to say, yet there is still so much more I must learn first. Here is a scripture I read over the weekend whilst having some quiet time. Just me and my Bible, I think it sums up where I am at right now.

But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
Hebrews 11;6

LEGO DUPLO - Read and Build

I'm chuffed to be a blogger on the 2012 LEGO DUPLO panel, and as part of that, LEGO DUPLO send their parcels of fun every now and then for the children to enjoy and me to review. It's WIN-WIN, I'm Chuffed I tell you.

On this occasion it was particularly exciting because we were sent a brand spanking new range which doesn't hit the stores until Wednesday (August 1st), so you lovely readers are some of the first people to hear about this. Oh yes it's truuuue.

This new concept, in conjuction with publisher Dorling Kindersley features illustrated story books with brightly coloured bricks. There are three unique sets in the range; 'Grow Caterpillar Grow', 'Busy Farm' and 'Let's Go Vroom', and they are aimed at pre-schoolers between 18 months and four years so perfect for my three bubba's. They absolutely loved the sets and the fact that story books were included along with the LEGO almost tipped them over the edge.

The read and build set combines reading and learning with building the fun characters from the stories in the book. Super educational and quite clever if you ask me. We all had a ball (especially me), reading and then creating the little animals and vehicles featured in the stories. The girls' concentration was heightened as they listened to the stories intently and then followed the building instructions perfectly. Definitely good preparation for school in September.

LEGO DUPLO Read and Build is available from 1st August and retails at £9.99 each.

Look what we've got!

One of the three sets in the range

Had so much fun building these together

Moo, Baa, Oink, Cock-a-doodle-doo

Big sis concentrating

Big sis concentrating some more

Story time

This is a review post. All opinions expressed are my own.

Sunshine days and dry hair

The gorgeous sunshine we have been experiencing in the UK this past 5 days has wreaked havoc on my hair. It's as dry as peppercorns or parchment paper, as my beloved mum would put it. I think I may be in need of a trim too because it has been feeling like straw. Not nice.

I was definitely in need of a deep condition to help regain some moisture so I set about to work last night. I started off with a pre-poo treatment. A pre-poo is as the name suggests, a pre sham(poo) treatment. You can use almost any type of oil or homemade concoction to coat your hair before washing and conditioning to help lock in moisture and nourish the strands. On this occasion I pre-pooed with Pure Coconut Oil. I sectioned my hair and after drenching each section with Coconut Oil I twisted. Once my whole head was twisted I wrapped in cling film and left for a few hours. In this time I made myself useful by preparing dinner, clearing up and getting the children ready for bed.

Once all was quite in the household I washed out the Coconut Oil using TRESemme Naturals Conditioner, otherwise known as a co-wash because you are washing your hair with conditioner as opposed to shampoo. This was important for me as I didn't want the oils to be stripped from my hair which shampoo can often do.

After co-washing I added Organic Root Stimulators Replenishing Conditioner. I made sure that every strand was covered and massaged into my hair. I then sectioned into four and twisted, then wrapped in cling film, covered with a scarf and left overnight.

This morning I washed out the conditioner. My hair felt light and springy. I blotted with a towel then added Anita Grants Vanilla Café Latte whipped butter and sealed with Extra Virgin Olive Oil after flat twisting into sections.

I can happily report that my hair no longer feels like straw. It looks and feels thoroughly nourished and moisturised. Next step is to work on styling, but with three little kids to tend to it ain't that easy. Hey ho I do what I can.

Some pics of the products I used.

Some attempts at pics of the hair. As you can see my eldest was clearly in her element sabotaging my shots lol. And flat twists before bed.

Flower girl dresses from Mini Mode

Maybe I'm being a bit hasty considering we haven't got a date for the wedding confirmed or booked the church, but I bought flower girl dresses for the girls whilst at Eastbourne over the weekend. They are from the Mini Mode Collectables range at Boots and they were on sale - 50% off, so you know I had to get them; (I was clever and bought them a size up so they'll fit come next spring). The beauty of these dresses is that they are simple yet still rather fitting for a wedding, plus I can accessorise them like crazy.

I'm really having to think outside of the box where this wedding is concerned. Flower girl dresses from Boots? Doesn't sound quite right does it? But I'm at the point where if something looks good and I feel in my gut that it'll work and the price is right then I'm going to buy it.

The OH, didn't think much of them but I beg to differ, plus the colour has given me a firm idea of the theme I'd like. I'm going back to our local Boots today to see if I can get our son a pair of trousers from the range. Wish me luck.


*Excuse the abstract pic. I'm still intermittently without Internet connection, so I'm blogging from my phone quite a bit, which isn't the greatest. I will update with more pics and links when I get the chance.*

Eastbourne

We went to Eastbourne for the weekend to make the most of the glorious weather we've finally been having.

The OH and I first visited this little gem in East Sussex when our eldest was a baby and we had a lovely time, (despite the pebble beaches). Since then, we go back at least once a year. It's great to get away to the coast, especially since the other half still hasn't sorted his passport situation. So no fabulous holidays abroad for us any time soon.

Alas we had a beautiful time, so nothing to grumble about really.......

Crossing Dartford Bridge

Enjoying the views

Daddy and the girls on the pebble beach

Can you spot the boat and the swimmer?

Lovely

How are you enjoying the sunshine?

Little swimmers (nearly)

My girls passed their grade 1 duckling level at swimming on Saturday.

Compared to when they first started, they have become so confident. They've never been frightened of being in water, but they were a bit unsure of themselves when they began the lessons several weeks ago, especially my eldest. Now when they go they forever have a big smile on their little faces as they listen to their teacher's instructions and follow her lead.

They are not swimming fully yet, but they are able to keep themselves buoyant without armbands and doggy paddle for short distances. I am so proud of their progress and we have another 10 sessions booked.

They'll be confident little swimmers before I know it, then it'll be my little man's turn.

Perplexed

Source
I'm finding this image quite soothing.
Just what I need.

Well what do you know? 

The administrator at my choice of church called me this morning and we had a lovely conversation. I feel a bit bad about yesterday's post now, but quite clearly it triggered something, somewhere to get things moving again. 

We spoke for about 30 minutes. Yes 30 minutes and she was just as amicable as she was when I had my initial conversation with her. Strange. She even sent a lovely email shortly after our conversation to say she was looking forward to receiving our application and it was lovely speaking to me. She must have been having a bad day when we last spoke. I guess it happens to the best of us.

Anyway the next step is for us to fill out an application form and send it in, then she'll arrange for us to meet with the Bishop for pre marital counselling, then hopefully we'll be approved to marry at the church.

She counselled me over the phone a bit to get a feel for my motivation. She asked questions like;

Have either of us been married before? No.

Is there a reason we are waiting until next year to get married? To get some money together and I like the number 13, so 2013 is a perfect year for me, plus I want to be married in my 33rd year and I'll be just shy of my 34th birthday in Spring 2013).

My responses got me thinking. Some of my reasons for waiting are so flimsy. I'm not working at the moment, I'm a stay at home mother. Am I really going to save any money from now until next year? No.

What is this whole '13' thing about? Is it just an excuse to prolong things? Maybe. Relationships aren't easy that's for sure, but nothing ever is. We are living like a married couple and we have three children together. You can't get more committed than that if you tried, so what exactly is the hold up? Err nothing.

As I've mentioned before we're both from big families and I think I'm trying to include too many people, not wanting to hurt feelings, but really and truly we can't do it all.

A mass cull of the proposed guest list is required I think................*oh dear*