Wednesday 6 June 2012

Biting the bullet

I'm in need of some help and inspiration guys.

If you've been following my blog you'll know that the other half and I are planning to get married next year. We are finally going to make our union official after a four year engagement, seven years together total and three beautiful bambinos.
Now to get this whole stuff moving we've I've been looking at various churches, but for one reason or another these options haven't been working out. Since the OH proposed I've envisioned getting married in a beautiful church in a beautiful location, but this desire doesn't seem meant to be.
We currently attend and are part of a lovely church. The congregation is small and the services are held in a school hall in the middle of an inner city estate. Now there are two things I instantly have an issue with and that's; 
A) The church. It's not a church in the sense of the beautiful building with the steeple and the pews.
B) The location. Not a leafy suburban oasis with gorgeous views. 
These issues are really throwing a spanner in the works and stalling my wedding planning momentum. Part of me thinks we should just bite the bullet and marry at the church we attend and stop trying to force ourselves somewhere else. Our pastor is amazing the people are lovely, so if I think rationally it's a no brainer really. Plus there are things we could do to beautify things surely.
I'm thinking that we could hire a marquee and get it erected on the school field which I'm sure can be utilised (I'll have to find out). So in essence we could have the ceremony in the marquee and the reception could be held in the hall which is in a newly built annexe within the school. This building has been designed to cater for events so it is really modern. Or we could just have everything in the marquee???
Here are some ideas I've come across which are getting me a bit excited again;
Ceremony Marquee
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Marquee
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Pinned Image
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marquee
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My head is in a spin with all this really. We've got less than a year to go and NOTHING has been confirmed so it all still feels like pipe dreams to be honest. 
Time is flying by so quickly and I'm concerned another year will pass and we'll still not be man and wife *collapses into a exasperated and defeated heap on the floor* 
Anyone have any nuggets of wisdom they could offer?? 
I really want to get this pot simmering again and fast......

17 comments:

the 1970s diet said...

Here's my 10 pence worth. We got married 2009 after 9 years together and 2 children (now 3). Honestly looking back I would happily trot down to the local registry office to marry him just us 2 and a pub afterwards. I wish I had done that its far more romantic. We didn't ahve a huge wedding total cost all in was about £6k which I think is reasonable. We married in a venue that was special to us which had lovely gardens and my wedding car was a black cab. It was wonderful. Get married in the place that is special to you and ditch the glossy brochures and the ideal of the perfect wedding. Your church sounds like it has so much love and so what its on an estate - its real not pretentious like so many weddings. Hope that helps! x

Unknown said...

Natasha, thank you so much for your comment. You're completely right, we should do what suits us, and this venue would certainly be special to us, despite the less than glossy surroundings lol.

Thanks for sharing your experience it has really helped me to bring the focus back to what matters.

And 6k is definitely reasonably. We don't want to spend any more than that ourselves x

BelleNoirBride said...

Hi lovely, I saw this post earlier today and was itching to respond but I was at work but I'm home now! : )
I think that your current church is definitely a contender as what it lacks aesthetically it seems to make up for in everything else, and after all like you said you can dress it up and make it look beautiful. The fact that you enjoy going there counts for a lot in my book!
Just one thing - Has the church ever installed a marquee on the grounds before? If they haven't it might be worth getting a marquee events company down to have a look at the site before you make any decisions. They'll be able to tell you what is possible and also what kind of costs you are looking at and then at least then you know what you are working with. And you can talk through things like heating, wet weather plans and electricity for catering etc (if you choose to have everything in the marquee).
Alternatively, could you start looking for a more picturesque church near you. I know you had one in mind which had funny rules but they aren't all like that.
I hope that's helped although I feel like I've asked more questions than I have answered....sorry!
X x

Charlotte said...

We got married in a beautiful church and had a marquee for the reception. It was wonderful but the church wasn't the one that I attended when I was growing up. I think that it would be lovely to get married in a place that is personal to you, even if it is not your dream setting. You can change the look of a place but you can't change the heart!

Unknown said...

Hi Nicola, great food for thought thank you. I'm not sure if a marquee has been installed before. I'll have to find out.

All your advice is perfect this is precisely what I need to be hearing.

Thanks hun xx

Unknown said...

Charlotte thanks for sharing your experience. It's so true it is the heart of a place that matters, and our church has a lot of heart x

Jennifer Jain said...

I've been to some lovely weddings in marquees. One was in a school hall which wasn't that nice a building, they put a marquee up actually inside the hall, then they lined all the corridors with draped cloth, and they even dressed up the toilets with full length mirrors, nice rubbish bins, flowers, baskets of toiletries and so on. It was amazing, and a massive transformation. Marquees are expensive though, especially with all the trimmings.

Is there somewhere nearby that some of you could travel to and have some photos taken - nice gardens, stately home, beach, park etc.?

The church service is only a small part of the day and yet it's the most important, and it's important because of what it means to the two of you. Not sure I'm expressing that very well, but it sounds from your post like you already know that the church you attend would be the one that is important to you on your special day.

I hope that you are able to make some decisions soon and get a date booked!

Unknown said...

Jennifer thank you for commenting. Yes I am filled with dread at some of the prices I've seen for marquees..

Your comment is expressed perfectly and I completely understand where you are coming from and I agree. I just want to get things confirmed and know that we are moving in some kind of direction.

As it stands everything is very much up in the air. Hopefully that will change very soon, especially with all the fab advice I've been receiving from all my lovely Cyber chums : )

Nu Bride said...

Hi Natalie -
If you still feel unsure - then there is no harm in looking around - have you viewed any more churches or venues yet? There are some beautiful churches and venues in the UK that might whet your appetite or at least give you some more inspiration and better idea of what you can / can't get for your budget. At least if you have viewed some in person then you can make an informed decision either way.

Yes what Nicola said too. ;o) And Natasha - definitely a lovely idea to get married somewhere that feels special to you in some way - that's what we are doing.

Go for a drive over the weekend and explore. ;o)
Good luck and enjoy it! x Nova

Unknown said...

Thanks Nova,

Things have definitely waned since the initial church enquiries, so I guess some more options could be explored before we make a final decision.

All feels like hard work and the OH is busy with work all the time but needs to be done and sharpish x

WeeWifie / One Epic Holiday said...

I'm sorry I have no idea how church weddings occur down with you, I'm presuming you're not in Scotland where I am!

If you've got your heart set on a church though then I'd be aiming to try try try for that. However you've gotta do what suits you both, and factor in the things like *dreaded money* etc. You could do a church (if find one) and then do the reception in the school? marquee etc? School halls CAN be done up fab! My step-uncle and my aunt got married in one - as he was the school janitor and their football coach so got the use for free! They had the roof and the walls with fabric all over it - like the photo in your blog of the roof with the floaty fabric. Sure did look amazing - and you'd not have told it was a school!

You and your hub and wedding party could jump in a few taxis for a couple trips to a couple of different landmarks/places for some "official shots" with the photographer? or hire a mini bus for a couple of hours and just take off and jump out for photos where you fancy them?

Just some ideas from me :)

Good luck with the planning!

Unknown said...

WeeWifie, thanks so much for your comment, lots of food for thought and I definitely like the idea of draping ceilings and walls to give the hall that sumptuous feel..

And yes the dreaded money factor is a bloomin' big dark cloud, but I know everything will work out. It has to.

: )

ooh getting excited again now...

Unknown said...

We got married in a hotel, and as much as we wanted it to be a nice venue the main thing was for it to be a celebration with room for all our friends and family to attend and have a fantastic time.
So that's what we did.
IMHO *where* you get married is a relatively small part of your wedding - it's the people that make it an occasion, not the venue or the food or how much you spend on flowers or dresses.
It's YOUR wedding, do what makes YOU happy; if other people don't like it, fine, they can do things differently when they get married. :-P

Unknown said...

Way to go Stu. Love it.

I wish I didn't concern myself with what others think so much, but that will have to change because we simply do not have the funds to be pleasing others and even if we did we wouldn't.

It's a lesson I'm slowly learning.

Thanks for commenting matey : )

Unknown said...

Hi, I think it is important for the place to have some meaning to you but it is also important for the place to be right. It's a bit of a beautiful act. We were lucky that we both fell for a place pretty quickly when we visited it (after I researched lots of places online and after we only visited a couple). It was a civil ceremony so it was easy.

What you can do is have the Church that has meaning and then a ceremony officiated by a celebrant in a pretty space which you can even decorate to your taste, perhaps where you have the reception, somewhere romantic, somewhere important for you... I know some people do that when they can't quite the location they want, it also means the words, music, etc. don't have to be restricted.

The thing is that you will have such a good time that it won't really matter. I look at the photos now and I'm so glad we did it within 3 months otherwise I would have been seriously stressed! And, had Pinterest existed then, I'd had been in trouble!

I was the same about the dress, I couldn't find one that didn't make me feel like I was in fancy dress at first and I went from it doesn't matter what I wear to argh can I just not get married in my jeans?

Unknown said...

I wanted to add that I agree with what Stuart said!

Unknown said...

Ahh thanks for commenting Maria. It is a complete and utter minefield. And you're right the likes of Pinterest just have you yearning for everything...lol

I secretly want to elope. But that's a complete other story...

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