My eldest daughter has thick hair with very tight kinks that tangle at every opportunity. My younger daughter also has thick hair, but the kinks are much looser, more like curls and although it does get tangled it's easier for me to manage. This used to concern me, because I did not want my eldest to think she has difficult hair, which of course she doesn't.
Luckily I am currently on my own journey towards natural hair, and it is only now, at 32 years of age that I am learning how to properly manage and care for natural afro hair. I'm still a long way off, but I am so glad I have reached this realisation now and will be suitably equipped to care for my daughters hair and instil the beauty of afro hair onto all three of my children.
In the meantime, as I learn which products and procedures are best for softening, moisturising and most importantly detangling, I have to endure the chaos that is hair washing and plaiting. It starts as soon as I announce the day before, that tomorrow is hair wash day. All manner of objections ensue, but as a mother of daughters it is straight up embarrassing to have to walk around in public, with their hair looking, tired, unkempt and fuzzy. They look neglected and in my book that will just not do.
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| My eldest daughter. Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy hair. Cute as pie though. |
So it's hair wash day and inside I'm dreading the next 3 hours because I know what is coming. Since my eldest was nine months old she would flinch and carry on if I so much as put my hands in her hair. Now it's a million times worse. Washing her hair these days has improved, plaiting has not. As soon as I lift the wide tooth comb, she is screaming at me to put it down. I try the tangle teezer. For what it's worth I think it makes detangling easier, she doesn't and continues to squirm and wriggle as if she's possessed. I ease her towards me, asking her to 'bend her head' and 'keep still' whilst I try to part her hair ready for plaiting. 'No mummy, it hurts mummy, get off mummy' I haven't even begun the first plait yet and she has a thick, full, head of hair. This is soul destroying.
After an hour of heavy duty screaming and crying from her, patient coaxing and reasoning, then shouting and threats from me, I'm done. I'm sure the neighbours must think she is being tortured. It's a complete nightmare.
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| Got to use the shampoo shield. I got this from boots. |
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| Lovely thick hair. |
As soon as I have finished, the crying stops as if by magic. She is smiling and showing off her pretty hair. The better half is lifting her up, so she can see her beautiful face and perfect hair in the mirror. Is this the same girl?
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| It's all worth it in the end. |
I look on with pride, I got through it. Then remember there's another head to tend to.........
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| Such a cute, cheeky girl. Fuzzy head number two lol. |
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| Shampoo shield - aka life saver. |
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| Not happy - she knows what's coming. |
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| Work it girl. |
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| Products I used. |
10 comments:
I have heard and observed the drama that occurs when you're doing their hair so I feel your pain sis. The end result is always gorgeous. When they are older and enjoying their healthy heads of natural hair, believe me they will thank you for it! x
Amen to that sister x
I read you blog about your cute little baby girls hairs. I understand the older one don't like her hair been touch due to pass experience but have you tried putting conditioner on her hair first..
spray with water and a little bit of conditioner. Put her hair into section with you hands first and then comb from the ends upwards.
Have you tried Rosewater it soften very dry hair, put in 1 tea spoon and 2 cup of water and spray on hair before you detangle
Do you put in leave in conditioner?? for hair.
Your last baby hair is like mine but i notice my hair like ACV rinse.
You can try BURTS BEES BABY SHAMPOO.I think they sell in Boots
http://www.burtsbees.co.uk/
Anything with HONEY is good for her hair.
I hope this helps abit.
Thanks Pree Mair,
I've heard good things about honey and natural hair so will definitely give it a try. Will look out for the Burt's Bees shampoo too.
Natalie I hear you and reading your story brings back memories of my childhood. I didn’t get my hair relaxed until I was 13 years old!! It breaks my heart to see young girls with relaxed hair but I understand the reasoning behind the mother who just wants an easier life in child haircare. The girls hair looks gorgeous and you’ve clearly mastered a tough job brilliantly!!
I have a 1 year old and her African-Caribbean hair is just coming through I’m using a conditioning shampoo and coconut oil to moisturise. However I can see that the days of the ability to ‘twist-n-go’ with her fine baby hair are coming to an end. I would also recommend a good leave in conditioner and sticking to just essential oils like jojoba, coconut, sweet almond and olive oils X x x
Thanks Claire. Yes essential oils are a must.
It's true I nearly caved in and relaxed my eldest's hair when I didn't know any better. There were many times that I just felt so frustrated, exhausted and upset with the situation.
It's still far from easy but we are getting there. xx
I know I'm coming into the convo super late but I only had the plesure of finding your fab blog recently so bare with me as I catch up -
My daughter's hair seems to fall between the textures of your two. Have you tried co-washing? No shampoo (accept when there is product build up) and washing with the conditioner instead? Taliah Waajid does an excellent all natural range as does Aubrey Organics.
Hi Tinuke,
Yes! I started co-washing a few weeks ago and it's made a huge difference. Thanks for the recommendations. I've tried Taliah Wajhid which was ok, will check out Aubrey organics. Does your daughter let you do her hair with no fuss?
I know the hair drama! My eldest is 6 and has waist length afro hair that shrinks to her shoulders when curly. I keep her hair canerowed all the time and I never comb it dry. Ever!
To eliminate the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the both of us, I wash her hair in four sections. I wet the back first and only use shampoo in the roots and pat the rest of the hair when I rinse it out. I put in a lot of conditioner and comb it through first. For extra detangling, I might use a denman or tangle teaser and then make a loose twist or plait in that section. I'll rinse the con out with the twist still in it and pay the hair dry. This means that when it comes to styling, there's little combing to do and far less crying.
I transitioned to natural for 21 months without a big chop and this technique really helped me when dealing with my two textures.
I hope you find a method that works for you :)
Thanks Ash-Lilly. My sister swears by washing and conditioning in sections too. I have tried it on the girls and it definitely makes a difference I think. Just takes that bit longer and I've still got all the commotion to deal with. They are terrible. Lol
I just hope they grow out of it quick. Their hair is due a wash and already there is moaning and carrying on. It's really quite stressful.
Wow your daughter has waist length hair. You must have the patience of a saint, but then I guess you just get on with it. No other option right???
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