You will most certainly find this hard to believe if you are not a believer in Christ, but in the very brokenness of our situation God is working supernaturally. Believe me when I tell you we are getting on better (from afar) than we have in years. There are changes taking place in BOTH of us that I never thought were possible. I am telling you GOD ANSWERS SINCERE PRAYERS AND REWARDS OBEDIENCE TO HIS WORD. I thank Him with all my heart for the change He is bringing because I really didn't like who I had become in my relationship and that was a nagging, angry, bitter and resentful miserable mess. God in His divine wisdom has removed us from a fruitless situation and through our separation we are BARING MORE FRUIT!!! And this is because I am choosing to abide in Him and His word (John 15:1-5). Glory to God for His power to transform.
I'm not going to lie, it hurts to have to go through this. I feel a lot of guilt, especially where our children are concerned but I know God is making things work for the greater good to glorify His holy name. His ways are infinitely higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9) and He knows best. I am praying HARD for Alex's salvation because I truly believe in my heart of hearts that we will be united in a christ centred marriage and we will raise our children together in a Christ centred home.
When all is said and done if it is God's Will for us to be united then nothing can stop it. And if it is not in His Will for us to be together I am at peace with the sacrifice I will have to make, after all I'm already doing it. I trust my God with my life because I know He loves me and wants what is best for me and all of His children. Hallelujah! Praise God!