Testimony Time

It's testimony time again. God is working so mightily in my life and the lives of others and I give him all the praise and the glory for enabling us to share these awesome testimonies with you all. Hallelujah!! I met Kharissa via Instagram (her IG tag is @beautifully_wonderfully), she is a strong woman of God who is allowing Him to do so much in her life. It is AWESOME. I'll hand over to Kharissa to tell you her story.

Born Again At 23

Have you ever met the guy of your “dreams” and he turned out to be a fraud? Yup. I did. Have you ever really cared for someone and they cheated on you? Me too. Have you hoped that this person was the one but your relationship was so over crowded with lies that you broke up? That's me too. Ever met someone who put you last in the relationship? Yea. I have had that too. Ever dealt with someone leaving you because you wouldn't have sex with them? Yes I’ve been through it. Ever been pressured to have sex in a relationship but in the back of your mind it wasn’t right? I’ve been there.

My name is Kharissa. I'm from Queens, NY. I’m 23 (going on 24 years old) and I’ve spent so much of my time in the wrong relationships that I never really got to enjoy a good one. I wanted so badly for someone to love me, to want me, to desire me. Don't get me wrong I have an amazing family who loves me dearly but the love I wanted was from someone who could complete me. I felt incomplete. I often felt like a lost soul looking for another soul to make me feel whole again. I always had this idea of the PERFECT relationship. The house, the dog, kids, money and a husband that does it all!!! He doesn't lie, doesn’t cheat, works hard, is romantic, is loyal, is gorgeous etc. I wanted the most fairy tale, picture perfect guy imaginable. The prince that comes to sweep the princess off her feet and they live happily ever after with NO PROBLEMS. Imagine that, a relationship with no problems. Honey, from ages 16-23 I was stuck in a fantasy.

And then one day I had a relationship that just broke me. I cared about the dude so much and he left me because I wasn't ready to have sex with him. So he cheated on me. I was emotionally invested and for 5 years afterwards he would come and go. I would allow him back (I declared that I loved him) and he would disappoint me. Then he would leave again. He would want to come back and I would open up to him only for him to keep things from me then I would leave. It was a vicious, unstable 5 year circle. It rendered me depressed and undesirable. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I began wishing I was more desirable like other girls my age and then I became angry. I became angry with God. Why didn’t He make me with a perfect figure? Why am I so skinny? Why do all my relationships fail? Now God has always been a part of my life since I was younger and this was the first time I began to lose my faith in Him. The one time I felt He was a liar because the one thing I wanted so badly, He refused to give me. I was livid and sad all the time. I felt alone, lonely and unwanted. I never cried so much in my life. I let something consume me and take control of me so much that I was losing myself. I stopped praying. I stopped hoping. I stopped caring. My voice was lost to Him and I remember feeling like “He doesn't care about my happiness so why should I acknowledge Him only for Him to be silent?” No thanks.

When I thought it wasn’t going to get better something happened to me, to my soul. The Lord came to me in a dream and gave me the choice to choose His way or the way that I was living. I never got to choose in the dream but the idea was to choose in my waking life. I never prayed so hard and since that day I wanted nothing more then to change my ways because I knew in my heart that He was who I needed in my life. I didn’t realize until just today that even though my attitude was changing there was a part of my soul that still loved God. My soul must have reached out to Him because deep down buried underneath all my negative feelings, heartache and pain I still loved Him.

Since April 8, 2012, I have been an avid church goer, a server at my church and a strong believer in God and Christ Jesus. I have NEVER felt so alive and strong. I gained so much knowledge about myself that internally I have made almost a complete 180 degree turn. I'm still a work in progress because the devil tries to bring me back to the old me but I’ve been holding on for dear life to Jesus. He has saved me each and every time. He’s brought people in my life to help me grow and stay focused and He made lessons out of those who have left me in my walk with God. He’s made lessons out of those relationships that have failed and I honestly am happy that I went through it because if it wasn't for what I been through I wouldn't be here now. I realized through my teachings at church how much I had fallen away from someone who loved more than I could ever imagine. It’s so crazy because all those times I thought I was alone I really wasn't because He was watching. He was there the whole time with a plan to change my life, with a plan to make me whole. He was there with a plan to teach me who I am called to be, not who these guys or people in my life think I am. Jesus wanted to show me His way. I was one of His lost sheep but when I was able to understand I can’t live life my own way and that I need Him. I would then come back to Him. He knew that and waited for me.

Through all of this I have learned many lessons and made a lot of decisions molding me into the person I am to today. I made a decision in my life to abstain from sex until marriage. Sex is an emotion, a powerful emotion that clouds the mind and heightens the senses. I realized that in today's generation there are too many diseases roaming around. Too many unwanted pregnancies and too many relationships bound for doom. I believe that sex was made for marriage and I have faith that God has someone for me. I made the decision to teach myself to resist temptation, to have respect for myself and my body as a young woman and declare a relationship in God through prayer and faith. God will prevail where no man can. When everyone and everything fails, He remains constant.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe there is someone reading this right now who has felt the same way I felt. Jesus can heal you. Jesus can strengthen you and God will forgive you. He loves you unconditionally; more than the human mind can fathom. It’s beautiful. He wants a relationship with you. He wants ALL of you. All of YOU! The good, the bad, the ugly and the hideous. I'm more than what my problems are and so are you. I'm called on a journey to be somebody in His kingdom. I'm important. I'm loved by a force greater than anything on this Earth. I'm loved by the creator of this Earth. The creator of you and I. He made us the way we are to fulfill a purpose in this life; to bring people to Him. I pray that you find God and you love Him through everything. I pray you find your purpose. God came and changed my life when no man could. He changed my attitude, my thinking and my focus. I'm thankful to be saved and I pray you will be too. Amen.

Glory to God. If you have a testimony of how God has transformed your life and you'd like to share it on the blog then email me: theaccidentalmogul@hotmail.co.uk.