All those who read my blog frequently will know that at the end of July I had a profound experience whilst at a women's conference at my church. It moved my inner being so much that I knew it was time for me to stop playing and give my life to the Lord. Submitting myself to the Lord and claiming Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour is the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life, and seriously as I write this my heart is racing, I am brimming with excitement.
You see when I got saved, the Lord also convicted me. Conviction is when God speaks to your heart to turn away from a particular sin you may be indulging in, either knowingly or unknowingly. Mine was fornication (I wrote about it here). I am not married to my fiancé - the father of my three children, so of course if I am saved, if I am a Christian I can not continue to carry on with behaviour that is not pleasing to God. Needless to say this has caused a certain amount of discontent in my relationship. Not because we are not doing 'that' per se, but more so because he is not where I am in his walk with Christ.
I have been praying non stop, with all of my heart on this matter, I have been on my face pleading with God to show me IF we are meant to be together and that He would draw my fiancé closer to Him and place a sense of urgency in his heart for us to be married; if that was in His will for our lives. Well slowly but surely I believe my prayers are being answered. Firstly, we have been meaning to get our son's passport sorted for months. My fiancé lost his and he didn't seem to be concerned about finding it or replacing it, so rather than nagging him to death, I just left the situation for God to resolve. I refused to waste my energy getting stressed. Been there done that. It don't work.
Well on Wednesday OH starts asking me if he thinks we'd be able to fly out to Barbados this Sunday. Excuse me?? I was dumbfounded. I mean he's always been a spur of the moment kind of guy, but really?? You and your son have no passport bruv!! Then I began to think, what if this is God working in my situation? Nothing is impossible for Him.
Anyway to cut a long story short the OH is making the 10 hour round trip to Durham tomorrow (yes, Durham near Newcastle) to get his passport, and our son's fast tracked to arrive in a week's time. No amount of nagging I would ever do, could have got him to do this. I am telling you God is working in my situation.
Now maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit here, but if we go on holiday to a tropical paradise in a week's time, I'm sure a wedding can be arranged whilst we are out there too?? Then a blessing in the UK in the spring, for the rest of the family?? I can in no way second guess God's plans, but I am stepping out in faith and positioning myself for the blessing, so I'm buying up all my holiday supplies over the next few days, so I don't get caught short. I'm buying outfits the lot ( actually I've already got my daughter's dresses. Do you remember this post? hmm hmm)...I'm not messing around.
God has revealed to me that my fiancé is The One, and by this I mean He has placed a strong sense of knowing in my heart, there are no doubts, there is no fear, just a sense of peace. So who am I to argue? The enemy's speciality is breaking up the family, but not mine. NO WAY!! I got a Holy boldness covering me. Glory to God!!
To those of you who don't believe in God and his supernatural power, this whole situation may sound crazy or not much of a big deal, but this is all truth and it's completely rocking my world right now. I can't sit still. Prayer is powerful!
"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."
I'm going to leave you with some messages to give some food for thought. Keep the faith, keep praying and keep, keeping on. God is good. Hallelujah!!! Amen!