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I'm still peeved that the other half completely vetoed my name choice for our son. Ever since I was pregnant with our first child I have loved the name Luca. So when I finally scraped my jaw off the floor after finding out I was pregnant for a third time and discovering it was a boy after two girls, Luca was the name I had my heart set on.
During the course of the pregnancy we felt we should probably go with a more biblical name, not least because this little boy is a blessing, of course our two girls are without question blessings too. But with my complicated pregnancy history I never thought we'd have a son.
So we changed our minds and chose a beautiful, strong biblical first name and I wanted Luca to be his middle name;
'We're not Italian' my other half scoffed. 'It's got no meaning' were the rebuttals ... 'Whatever' I'd immaturely respond.
Fast forward a few months and when we went to register the birth of our son the better half wanted a Ghanaian middle name. Now that's fair enough because the better half is mixed race English and Ghanaian and our girls have got two middle names, one of them Ghanaian - representing the day of the month they were born, so we'd have the same for our son, no issue?
Well there was an issue he only wanted one middle name and it had to be Ghanaian. No Luca for me. Looking back I feel like I was completely bullied into the decision, especially since I'd only given birth a few weeks before and my hormones were still all over the place so I didn't have the strength to argue my corner as I usually would.
Now here I am yearning for Luca , but what's in a name? Am I being silly? We have a beautiful healthy boy but this issue still keeps playing on my mind at unexpected intervals making me feel annoyed and sad. Mainly because I felt so powerless at the time.
Have you ever experienced being railroaded into something when you're at your most vulnerable only to regret it later?
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing this, I don't think that you are wrong in anyway for feeling these things.
I believe in the power of compromise but it has to be a 'real' one, a win-win, where you are genuinely accept the change in your position and both parties are happy. When you feel like you have lost it will forever niggle at you, especially on important things...
Maybe you can call him Luca anyway, as your own nick-name. This is very common in the caribbean (I'm not sure where you are from).
That's really sad, particularly when you had your heart set on "Luca". Something similar happened to my grandmother - the name Henry was put on his birth certificate but she never liked it so he's always been called John! In fact he's 73 and I only recently found out that that wasn't his real name x
Thanks Bailey Ana,
Yes beloved pet names. My parents are West Indian, so very familiar with that. Lol
My girls and I did call him Luca for a bit after he was born, but I felt a fraud, it's not like it's official. I may resort to it though, so I don't forget.
I guess it is the feeling of losing on something so important and there was no compromise (despite us compromising with our girls. Go figure)..
Hummpff - guess I'll come to terms with it in time x
Lottie love that story. I think it is really common using pet names. I never understood why until now...x
I really wanted to call my son Matthew but Daddy-Doo didn't so we didn't and I am glad now. Though just after Youngling was born he was lying in his Moses basket and I called him Matthew. It was a freudian slip and as soon as I said it it felt wrong.
However now I have two girls names that even when I think of them I see my daughter (I only have Youngling - this is me yearning for a second child - clearly wanting a girl). It is the strangest feeling. xx
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